Tuesday 13 June 2006

BrokenTV's World Cup: Day Four

BBC

Gary and Ian "Wright Wright" Wright trying with all their combined might to extract an ounce of humour from referring to Serbia and Montenegro as 'S&M', despite the obvious insurmountable odds.
-3 points

Martin O'Neill slowly but visibly becoming irritated by the above.
+2 points

An interview with Embrace...
-2 points

...with 'Comedy Dave' off of The Chris Moyles Self-Congratulation And If There's Time, A Record, Show.
-3 points

A clip of the Nottingham Forest squad singing We've Got The Whole World In Our Hands from Jim'll Fix It, with which to embarrass Martin O'Neill, possibly edging him even closer to a D Fens-esque rampage across the whole of the BBC.
+3 points (suspended until said outrage ensues, or at the very least, Martin O'Neill says "fuck you very much" to Gary)

Letting Gordon Strachan loose on daytime television (i.e. USA-Czech Republic match), rather than cooped up on the highlights show.
+1 point.

Total: -5 points.

ITV1

World Cup Highlights. On at the same time as the BBC's highlights show. Except ITV's one has (a) adverts, (b) no Chiles or Strachan, (c) the possibility of Jim Rosenthal (we haven't checked, but it's a safe bet).
-3 points

That title sequence really is shit, isn't it?
-2 points

UKG2

Another chance to see the highlights of today's matches, but actually on at a different time to the BBC's highlights, so they're quite handy if you've just got in, and (best of all) you don't have to put up with Annoying Bloke Off Soccer AM All Sports Show for as long.
+2 points

Sky Sports News

Valiantly battling against the odds to put together at least 14 hours a day of World Cup news coverage without being able to show a single second of the World Cup itself.
+2 points

Bothering to put together at least 14 hours a day of World Cup news coverage without showing a single second of the World Cup itself.
-50 points.

Still, Kelly Dalglish, eh?
+2 points

BrokenTV

Realising that posting lots of comments like the above for every single match is going to become really boring for everyone, and preferring to just post in updates every few days.
+2 points

Also, we really can't stand much more of tuning in for pre-match tedium, and would much rather watch the matches in the pub, where we don't notice Gary's one liners as much.
+2 points

The Standings
BBC: 4 points
BrokenTV: 2 points
ITV: -3 points
UKG2: -14 points
Sky Sports News: -46 points



Current position in the Google rankings for "puma advert pele": Second
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Anonymous said...

Hello chaps. I'm enjoying this World Cup coverage - very Digitiseresque. Have you been unfortunate enough to see World Cuppa yet? It's ITV4 late at night, trying desperately to be a cross between Fantasy Football and Soccer AM. Needless to say, it's shite. But you should write a review if your eyes don't die first.

Mark X said...

We've not managed to watch it just yet - any goodwill we might have felt for O'Connell disappeared when he left XFM to join Virgin Radio's steady diet of Texas and David Gray. We'll give it a go, expecting to be about the same quality as BBC Choice's weak attempt at Soccer AM, 45 Minutes. Just as long as Miff Daniels (the most objectionable cunt off World Cup Heaven and Hell, and that was against some pretty stiff opposition) doesn't feature.

Rodafowa said...

Enjoying this a lot. And spot on re: Strachan and MON.

The BBC's daytime pundits really are a LOT better than the ones they let loose at prime-time, aren't they? wee got Wee Gordon, Marcel Desailly and Iain Dowie for the Korea-Togo game today, but bloody Leonardo and Ian Wright wheeled out for Brazil. Ye gods.

Mark X said...

To be fair, Leonardo was quite good, we thought. Why is it that the BBC pundits that don't speak English as a first language are much better than most of the ones that aren't?

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