Monday, 12 February 2007

Lost is back!

And only a few days after people who've downloaded it off of the internets got to see it. Yup, as we've also done for brand new 24, we've left the waters of digital piracy, preferring the still but legit waters of conventional TV. You don't even have to FTP any of the programmes over to your chipped Xbox if you want to watch them on your big telly, or anything. And we only have to avoid all forum threads on the programmes in question for a few days in fear of seeing spoilers. And, of course, because we're special and have got a shiny new telly and Sky HD box, we get to see them all in Science-o-vision, which is a very special thing indeed. Time for a **spoileriffic**

What We Think Of New Lost FAQ

How BrokenTV Now Thinks Lost Is Going To End: One of the main characters will be strapped into the excellent Mind Control Chair.

The Most Grotesque Benefit Of Seeing Lost in HD: Not, as you might suspect, the close-up on the spinal surgery, but seeing Tom's nose, in full scaly detail. It's like what Sid James' nose might have looked like if Hancock's Half Hour was filmed in HD.

BrokenTV's Cheat Mode For Avoiding Adverts In Lost, If You're Watching It On Sky+, Like Any Right-minded Individual: Back-up, select, add five minutes to the current time, select. With an ounce of luck, you'll be back at the end of the annoying 118 sponsor bumper, and avoided all the adverts. This works for pretty much any other programme, too (apart from TV Burp, as despite it finally being one of their most popular shows, ITV can still only flog two minutes worth of advertising space for the middle of it, because they're rubbish).

In Case You're Not Sure What You've Seen Alice In Before, She Was In: Malcolm In The Middle, first three seasons. You really should have worked that out for yourselves by now. Thicky.

How Soon Will BrokenTV Be Wandering Into SpecSavers, Because Our Eyesight Has Got All Knackered From Watching HD Lost Sitting 24 Inches Away From The Screen?: About six weeks, we reckon. It's worth it, though.

That Diminishing List Of TV Shows BrokenTV Is Watching Primarily Via Evil Download Services: The Sarah Silverman Program, American Dad, My Name Is Earl, The Colbert Report, the decent Adult Swim shows just as soon as they return, Family Guy (which we're going to stop bothering with soon unless it picks up quite dramatically. The latest episode was terrible). A far cry from the fifteen or so we used to line up every week. We're even prepared to wait for new episodes of The Simpsons to show up on Sky One.

So, What's Best? Lost, or 24?: There's only one way to find out... Fiiii[snip]. Despite having to check that each episode of 24 wasn't written by Julie Birchall, so packed is it with cliffhangers based on the premise of "what's the *last* thing you think is going to happen right now? Well, that's *exactly* what's about to happen", it's still thunderingly good. However, our response to the first (well, seventh) episode of New Lost was decidedly 25% more animated than that of 24. So, despite a little bit of us dying inside because we've now noticed that Juliette has old woman hands (because we're watching in HD, don't you know), Lost is the winner.

Is BrokenTV Going To Stop Going On About Having HD Any Time Soon, As It's Getting Really Quite Tedious?: Heck, no.

Why, What's The Actual Difference Between HD and 'Normal' Telly Anyway, By Way Of An Illustrative Comparison?: Well, look.

Attribute clash and everything, see.

8 .:

NJ said...

Just knowing that you're watching The Sarah Silverman Program is enough to earn forgiveness for watching Lost.

Mark X said...

Lost is excellent. It's like Arrested Development but on an island, only more complicated, with no jokes, and not really all that much like Arrested Development.

(I mainly say this because I'm half-watching a repeat of Arrested Development, and can't be bothered putting too much thought into my reasoning right now. It's only a comment. No-one will read it.)

Graham Kibble-White said...

Slightly odd sort of comment to leave, but, Mark, is there an email address for you? Or, would you mind dropping me a line at Er, I'm off of TV Cream, by the way, which you kindly link to.

Mark X said...

Email sent.

(Hope I'm not in trouble for nicking jokes from Creamguide.)

adam_aitch said...

Nice to see Rob McElhenney, from my current sitcom squeeze 'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia', as the hapless brainwashing room guard Arlo.

Speaking of attribute clash, Lost is a lot like Frankie Goes To Hollywood on the Speccy but set on an island, with less pill popping and without a logic based murder deduction sub-game.

Mark X said...

"Lost is a lot like Frankie Goes To Hollywood on the Speccy but set on an island"

Mr Aitch, you've just inspired an update. Hurrah!

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