Single Worst Moment of Television in 2007
Patrick Kielty performing the lyrics to Gold Digga, a capella, for a good thirty seconds or so on Live At The Apollo. Yes, including the ‘proper’ lyrics. A truly horrible experience, even worse than when Marcus Brigstocke says something in street patois, because y’know, he’s a middle class bloke in a suit, and he shouldn’t nevar be doin’ no street patois, innit. An ting.
Saddled with what was very probably the single worst slot given to a new television programme in the entire history of television (at 3.30am, on BBC Three, and billed as a signed repeat of Two Pints Of Lager), Biffovision was up against it right from the start. This was a major shame, as the pilot episode showed a lot of promise, being a slice of inspired lunacy in the vein of Q, Big Night Out and Rutland Weekend.
While it certainly divided opinions amongst the viewing dozens, almost exclusively people who'd been fans of the late lamented Teletext videogame section (although we'd argue it was less like Digitiser, and more like Mr Biffo's Bubblegun website), it was inarguably unique amongst the BBC Three catchphrase-stroke-tedium packed comedy canon. And, given the single show to be broadcast was just a pilot, a series proper could have been packed even more tightly with quality fare. For example, here's a recovered draft of something not included in the pilot (and which itself has become deleted from the internet. Nice try Mister Rose, but our deft Google Cache skills have thwarted up your plan deliciously).
These are all things that happen in the first five minutes of BiffoVision, because we couldn't be done waiting for all of the YouTube video to buffer before taking the screenshots
Sadly, what with the show being loosely based on a pastiche of 1980s kids TV, it was decided that it was unsuitable for modern, hip and street yoof demographic now pandered to by Ver Three, and it was ditched (even though none of the actual jokes required even the merest knowledge of events between 1980 and 1989). Meanwhile, BBC Three’s main source of nightly comedy is the two episodes per night of Family Guy, a show largely comprising of throwaway cutaway non sequiturs featuring various 1980s pop culture references that didn't even make it the this side of the Atlantic.
Luckily, the show is available for viewing on YouTube (start from here), so everyone can bask in the Biffo magnificence.