Tuesday, 10 January 2012

The BrokenTV Awards 2011: Part Three (Paperback Edition)

PART THREE of the epic awards bash previously presented in video form here (TV shows) and here (songs). As a special treat, we’ll also list all the awards from parts one and two in text form, for those too darned lazy to sit through about half an hour of esoteric nonsense we knocked up during Christmas week. Tsk, eh?

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Don’t worry, this time it’s all in text. No twenty-seven minute long tribute to Granada Jobfinder or anything to sit through.

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First up, a dash through our top, er, twelve songs of the year. Just a listing of them, mind. If you want to see our excellent Chart Show (Channel 4 Years)-style captions for each song, you’ll have to download the full video we posted the other day. The one that was TOO HOT FOR YOUTUBE (/too disrespectful of copyright, whatever).

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(Note to selves: send that out of court settlement to TV Cream for stealing the phrase “Fact’s Amazing” from them.)

We do include YouTube links to each song in full, however. We’re not monsters.

12. Caravan Palace – Crash

 

11. Justice – Civilization

 

10. Jedward – Lipstick (YES JEDWARD LIPSTICK IT IS ACE SHUT UP AND NO WE DON’T LIKE ANYTHING ELSE THEY’VE DONE)

 

9. The GO! Team – Buy Nothing Day

 

8 Pop Will Eat Itself – Chaos & Mayhem

 

7. Regina – Unessa

 

6. Azealia Banks Feat Lazy Jay – 212

 

5. Boy – Little Numbers

 

4. Library Voices – If Raymond Carver Was Born in the 90s

 

3. Peter, Bjorn & John – Breaker Breaker

 

2. The Pack A.D. – Sirens

 

1. M83 – Midnight City

Yes, we really DO like Lipstick by Jedward. We’re not just being contrary. Well, only slightly.


TOP TEN ALBUMS 2011

Something we were going to do another video for, but after having that first one pulled from YouTube within minutes of it being uploaded, quite reasonably didn’t bother. So, here’s our list. With Spotify links where available, so you can listen to them for yourselves instead of reading our meanderings.

10. MEN – Talk About Body

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9. The GO! Team – Rolling Blackouts

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8. Washed Out – Within and Without

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7. Lady Gaga – Born This Way

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6. M83 – Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming

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5. Cults – Cults

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4. Kids On A Crime Spree – We Love You So Bad

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3. Metronomy – The English Riviera

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2. Boy – Mutual Friends

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(Note: sadly, the album’s not on Spotify, so here are some more YouTube links. Second single ‘Waitress’, which is very nearly as good as ‘Little Numbers’ from our top 12 songs of the year. ‘Skin’, an illustrative sample of how good the non-single songs are on Mutual Friends. Ach, just listen to this YouTube playlist of live and studio tracks by the duo. And be a little surprised to discover that they’re actually from Austria and Switzerland, which certainly doesn’t come across in the songs. Buy the album from 7Digital here.

1. Peter, Bjorn & John – Gimme Some

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TOP TEN REMIXES 2011

With YouTube links, unless where stated. Yes, the songs might not be from 2011, but to the best of our gin-addled knowledge the remixes are.

10. Arcade Fire - No Cars Go (Christian Strobe Remix)

9. Beataucue - Disque Oh! (Eumig & Chinon Remix)

8. Beastie Boys feat Santogold – Don’t Play No Game That I Can’t Win

(SebastiAn Remix)

 

7. Yeasayer - One (Coupons Remix) (Hype Machine link)

 

6. The Wombats - Techno Fan (Diplo Remix)

 

5. Sonic Youth - Kool Thing (Cracks remix)

 

4. Calvin Harris - Flashback (Millions Like Us Remix)

 

3. Foster The People - Pumped Up Kicks (Grouplove & Captain Cuts Remix)

 

2. 12 Inch Plastic Toys - Toys (Gain On Top Remix)

1. Rachel Goodrich – Light Bulb (ANR Remix)

So good, we used it for the intro and outro of our Best 12 Songs Of 2011 video. The only reason it wasn’t included in that list is that we were planning this remixes listing, which it would easily top. It would have been at, ooh, number three of that list, in case you’re wondering. As for the original track… meh, it’s okay, but this remix blows it out of the water.

We can even forgive it for having been used in a BT Broadband advert.


TOP 20 TV SHOWS OF 2011

As originally listed here, if you want us to show our workings for all of them.

20. Lost Christmas (BBC One)

 

19. Children's Hospital (Adult Swim)

 

18. Shooting Stars (BBC Two)

 

17. Would I Lie To You (BBC One)

 

16. The Bazura Project (ABC2)

 

15. Black Mirror (Channel 4)

 

14. Friday Night Dinner (Channel 4)

 

13. Dear Censor (BBC Four)

 

12. The Secret Life of Bob Monkhouse (BBC Four)

 

11. Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle (BBC Two)

 

10. Jon Benjamin Has a Van (Comedy Central)

 

9. Holy Flying Circus (BBC Four)

 

8. Rev (BBC Two)

 

7. Pointless (BBC One)

 

6. All Watched Over By Machines Of Loving Grace (BBC Two)

 

5. Eric & Ernie (BBC Two)

 

4. This is England 88 (Channel 4)

 

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3. Penn & Teller: Fool Us (ITV1)

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2. Limmy's Show (BBC Two Scotland)

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1. Breaking Bad (AMC)

 


Onto some quickfire awards to round off:

REPEAT OF THE YEAR

Friday Night, Saturday Morning (BBC Four)

Finally. More of this kind of thing, BBC Four.

 

FILM OF THE YEAR

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Rubber

All other films this year were rubbish by comparison. Especially Cowboys and Aliens.

 

LETDOWN OF THE YEAR

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Dexter season six

“Could [INSULTINGLY OBVIOUS TWIST THAT EVERYONE SAW COMING THREE WEEKS AGO]?”

 

MAN OF THE YEAR

Upinder Randhawa

The man behind the most compelling live television of the year. You may remember that strange time in August where a bunch of hoodlums set England on fire. For much of the time when it was all going on, Twitter was oozing information about what was really going on, while the rolling TV news duopoly were simply repeating the same few moments of footage on a seemingly endless loop of tut-tuttery.

That wasn’t the case for Midlands-based community channel Sangat TV, however. Reporter Upinder Randhawa and his cameraman hopped into a car with a satellite uplink, and went hunting news. Not only that, but in front of a backdrop that was mostly on fire, Randhawa eschewed lazy sensationalism, instead opting for improvised stirring monologues alongside his pleas for local residents to stay away from flashpoints. “Humanity is the religion we must follow right now.” This is what we want from our newscasters, especially as all this was coming from the heart.

So, not like that awful bit with Huw Edwards and the Torch Of Hope (or whatever it was) in that weak episode of Doctor Who, then.

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