We haven’t checked in with Applemask’s spiffing retrospectives on ITV regional continuity for a while, so what better time to stroll briskly with him through the cobbled streets of Granadaland’s past. Hey, it’s not all drab yellow-on-blue slides displayed to a soundtrack of nothing more than a faintly crackling UHF signal and the lament in the back of your mind that the people in the village down the road who get Central instead are represented by a much cooler ident. Just us?
PART ONE: “the idea of national television in Britain was still only water in a stranger’s tear”.
PART TWO: “Look at me, look at me, LOOK AT ME!”
PART THREE: “A flickering light show for weeping onanists.”
Just as soon as we invent time travel, we’re going straight back to 1983 in order to shake some Bernstein lapel. We’ll keep on shaking that Berstein lapel until we’re allowed to take control of the corporate identity of the channel, at which point the realisation that Photoshop doesn’t exist yet will kick in, we’ll panic, and the ITV franchise for the North-West of England and North Wales will duly be represented by something we hurriedly put together on a BBC Micro in MODE 2.
Hey, that’s exactly what happened to Children’s BBC in 1985: