Get Your Semi On (1)

  • 7/04/2006 09:54:00 pm
  • By Mark Gibbings-Jones
  • 2 Comments

In order to check every leak in the UK's World Cup broadcast pipe, BrokenTV (note to selves, think up a better metaphor for the previous statement), we've been listening to FiveLive's commentary of the Germany-Italy semi-final. Oh, alright. Due to accidentally agreeing to spend the duration of the Germany-Italy semi-final stuck in an office deep in the heart of a soulless building in a characterless business park, we're listening to the radio, grasping our cherished "Germany to win the World Cup: 11/1" betting slip. And panicking when the commentator starts shouting about a chance on goal for either team, because our concentation has lapsed and we're not sure which team he's on about until he calms down a bit because they'd spooned it over anyway.

- Mike Ingham referring to "the commentary team from the most densely populated country in the world, China, has the most densely populated commentary box. They're sitting on each others' laps!" This is the sort of thing Motty and Comedy Mark should be referring to.+2 points

- Chris Waddle has just called Torsten Frings "a big, big miss". Bet he wouldn't say that to his face. That reminds us, we're going to deduct points every time he says 'pelanty'.-2 points (suspended)

- That said, hopefully, we'll finally be at home by the time it goes to 'pelanties'. Blimey, Alan Green is rubbish (not an observation we've just arrived at, but this is our first opportunity to air it). Alan, if being at these football matches seems to piss you off so much, can we go in your place? You can just stay at home and complain about foreign footballers.-2 points

- Chris Waddle has just compared someone-or-other to Anne Robinson (possibly German Chancellor Angela Merkel, although we don't see it ourselves. If pressed on the matter, we'd say she looks like what we'd imagine Madge off of Neighbours' sister maybe looks like. Going off her photo on Wikipedia, anyway). Wish our DAB radio had a rewind function on it.BrokenTV: -1 point.

Gah. A latter day Schumacher-Battiston decapitation attempt from Lehmann, by the sounds of it. Wish we were sat in front of a television set right now. Even if it was tuned to ITV.ITV's decision not to stream their World Cup coverage over their website, the rubbish gits: -3 points

The fact this is about to go to extra time, which means we might be able to get home for the end of it, although we'll need to listen to the utterly rubbish medium-wave FiveLive signal on the car radio. Bloody medium wave. On FM: room for dozens of shitty local radio stations all playing the exact same constant diet of Bon Jovi, Texas and inane items stolen from the Radio One of six years ago, no room for the one station everyone in the country really wants to listen to at the moment. Gits.Radio Licence Authority: -15 points

Right, just time to quickly post this, before we dash off like a fool in time to catch the second period...

[22:30 Update]

Oh well, there goes that potential £60. From what we actually saw (all 17 minutes of it), it looks like a cracking match, so we're not quite sure why Alan Green sounded so grumpy about it. No, wait... because he's Alan Green? That'd be it. Nice of ITV to kick us all into an ad break about twenty seconds into the post-match celebration. Now, come on France (hey, we're not so daft as to not put a covering bet on another team once the odds plummet on the one we've backed. It's like taking the Deal from The Banker with four boxes left).

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