It's The End Of The World Cup As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

  • 7/10/2006 02:21:00 am
  • By Mark Gibbings-Jones

Much to the relief of BrokenTV's non-football-liking readers, the World Cup is now over for another four years. Well done for sticking it out, there's a treat at the end of this post for you. But first, the points from the final. Oh, and Zidane: shitting heck.


Firstly, last night's Doctor Who finale was a fantastic piece of television, almost making up for most of the preceding series being a bit rubbish (especially the bit at the 2012 Olympics with Huw Edwards), so the Beeb are getting some goodwill points for that. We don't even mind the appearance of Catherine Tate, as she's a good actress, even if her show is utterly woeful. Hurrah!
+3 points

Pundit watch: Alongside Alan, Martin O'Neill is there (+2 points), but so is Alan Shearer (-2 points). Ian Wright isn't there, though (+2 points).

A live interview with Noel Gallagher, personally invited to the final as a lucky mascot by Alessandro del Piero. Noel mentions how he'd told Piero he might stay at home because there's a double bill of EastEnders on that day. This is what we want.
+1 point

A piece with The Chiles 'be'ing the Olympic Stadium. Yay.
+2 points

Motson stating that Makelele's style of play is like ironing a shirt. Cue Lawrenson chuckling that he is certainly 'never pressed'. Boh. We're sure even John Motson is getting pissed off with him now.
-3 points

A typically overblown montage of the tournament as a whole, much as you'd expect from the BBC. Not as good as their PSB-soundtracked summary of England's fortunes, but nice enough, and they didn't bung the credits over it like they might have done. A retrospective look at the fans was used for that. Any excuse to show lots of pretty girls, eh. Which is, of course, fine by us.
+2 points


We can't be bothered flipping to ITV (especially as we're recording the BBC broadcast to shiny disc), we're guessing they've got about eleven pundits crammed into a tiny corporate box. Of course, one of the main traditions of the World Cup Final is practically no-one bothering with the ITV coverage. When we saw a bit of the '98 final on ITV, there was an immensely annoying interview with Ryan Giggs outside the stadium ("So, Ryan, how do you feel knowing that you'll never get to play in a World Cup Finals? I bet you wish you'd played for England, don't you?" "Er, no. Actually"). Wonder if they'll get beaten in the ratings by UKG2 (which we're not going to watch any of, either. Heck, we can't even be bothered calling it by it's proper name).

Bet they rushed into some adverts two nanoseconds after the final penalty of the shoot-out, too.
ITV -2 points
UKG2 -2 points

Come back tomorrow for the grand totals! Or just add them up yourself. Or, just try to carry on with your lives without caring about it at all.

Super Special Bonus For Non Football Likers

As your reward for sticking out all of the footy talk, here's something that has NEVER been on the internet UNTIL NOW.

Yes, that's right. It's a picture of Brian Walden lighting a cigarette for Neil Kinnock on the set of Weekend World. Shut up, it's interesting.

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