Three Bits Of Text Plucked From Media Guardian That Restore Our Faith In Television


"Hmm... fifty dull minutes of EU tax fraud, eh. What
else is on? Bah. Tax fraud it is, then."


Sentence one:

"On ITV1, PokerFace attracted its best ratings yet, when nearly 6 million viewers tuned in to see Sarah Lang win the £1m prize in the final."

Good. It was a pretty good programme, she was genuinely deserving of the prize and seemed like a really nice person. And it was great to see Annoying Smug Bloke lose £75,000 and walk away with nothing, mainly due to him being so annoying and smug. One flaw we can see in the format is that (if it gets another outing, as it surely will) there's a large chance that lots of annoying smug idiots are likely to WIN BIG, which will put us right off the show.

Bit two:

"And ITV1's Love Island pulled in only half the audience of BBC1's Panorama, which focused on tax fraud in the European single market."

Ha! If there's one sentence that sums up ITV's current state, it's that. And we bet they'd expected dropping the word 'Celebrity' would see the viewers flocking in.

Bit three:

"Kylie - the Interview had 615,000 viewers between 9pm and 10pm on Sky One, according to unofficial overnights. However, only 87,000 viewers stayed tuned to Sky One for the launch of Christian O'Connell's Sunday Service between 10pm and 11pm."

That'll learn him for going from "being quite good on the XFM Breakfast Show" to "World Cuppa" within eighteen months. At least Tim Lovejoy And The All-Stars had Martin Freeman berating the host for not knowing the titles of any Ramones albums, even though he was wearing a Ramones T-shirt.

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