Wednesday, 23 May 2007

An Update A Day: Day, erm, Four

Yes, yes. So much for 'an update a day', but BrokenTV's computer decided not to work at all yesterday, which messed things up a bit*. Today, it seems to be working, but the CPU fan has gone a bit haywire, doing nothing for a while, then running constantly while the CPU temperature climbs up bit by bit. While this is pretty annoying, by running Speedfan, we can keep tabs on our computer's 'core temperate', so we can switch it off just before it explodes. It's at a nicely safe 59°C right now, so let's see if we can get a couple of updates out before it explodes, potentially killing us all in the process.

(*And then we realised that us saving an early draft of this update just after the original means that the "published by" date is messed up, which makes the above slightly nonsensical. It's actually now the 24th of May.)


Of course, you'd think what with all that time we spent standing outside John Lennon Airport over the last few days, selling the printouts of this Wikipedia image to fat men in replica shirts, we could afford a new PC. You'd be wrong, because it turned out everyone had cleverly paid us with printouts of this Wikipedia image. Those loveable scallies. But anyway, it's time for:

BrokenTV's Five Favourite And Five Least Favourite Covers For European Champions Cup Finals Match Programmes Between The Years Of 1956 And 1985: Part Two (The Worst Covers For European Champions Cup Finals Match Programmes Between The Years Of 1956 And 1985)

CPU temperature still at a non-explody 59°C, but we'd better press on all the same.

1976 (Glasgow) Bayern Munich 1 St. Etienne 0

A horrid shade of brown (although they were probably aiming for 'gold'), the Pac-Man typeface (which doesn't work an anything other than a Pac-Man cabinet), and two large flags stuck into, as far as we can tell, Cornwall and southern Denmark. And the main illustration? The UEFA logo. It's this sort of lackadaisical approach that M Platini is working so hard to revamp. Speaking of which, what price monkey referees for the 2009 Final? 57%

1972 (Rotterdam) Inter 0 Ajax 2

It's a great big anthropomorphic European Cup. In a way, we kind of respect the quickly fashioned scrawl presumably done by the 1970s Dutch equivalent of rubbish Daily Mirror cartoonist Tom Johnson, but in another more accurate way, couldn't they have come up with something a bit better? It's a European showpiece, for flip's sake. 52%

1961 (Berne) Benfica 3 Barcelona 2

"Meu deus! I have kicked my penalty so wide it has not just gone over the bar, but out of the entire continent! A not very accurate representation of it, to boot!" etc. 44%

1969 (Madrid) Milan 4 Ajax 1

Tsk. If this was from the early 1950s, we might have let it slide, but coming up with something this tacky in 1969? It looks like it could just as easily be the cover of a pamphlet on farming subsidies issued at an EEC seminar. 26%

1973 (Belgrade) Ajax 1 Juventus 0

Aieeeee! Our eyes! Now, we can't be sure, partly because we're too young and not sex perverts, but this is probably taken from a generic design of all manner of early 1970s pornography. Especially so when you notice that the figure at the top of the cup silhouette looks like a kind of "18+" disclaimer sticker. At that font used for the team name - so horrible it even makes Comic Sans look quite good (and not the typographic equivalent of a 'comedy' tie worn by an annoying middle-manager who reckons he's a bit 'wacky' it really is). Despite what Life On Mars told us, life in 1973 wasn't all Morecambe and Wise Keep Britain Tidy posters and crimes that weren't committed by the person you'd thought they were going to be by, but rather by the other person introduced to the storyline at about the same point as the original suspect, some of it was quite horrid. 12%


And so, with our feature on old football programmes which we'd thought was going to turn out better than it did (no, it wasn't the comedy goldmine we'd originally anticipated), and our CPU code temperature explode-o-meter now sitting at 64°C, we're going to sigh resignedly, click on 'publish post' and hope for the best. Maybe our catch-up feature a bit later on (we said an update per day, and we mean it) will prove to be better.

2 .:

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