Because the video in the version everyone seems to be linking to stutters badly on our computer.
We really should change the site header back, shouldn't we?
We really should change the site header back, shouldn't we?
Showing posts with label US Election 2008. Show all posts
Showing posts with label US Election 2008. Show all posts
Sunday, 9 November 2008
Wednesday, 5 November 2008
The World Is Now, At Least A Bit, Better
And he's getting a new puppy for his kids! Trendy new-meeja cynicism aside, this is a pretty huge thing right here. Four and a half years ago, we watched the DNC National Convention coverage around the time of John Kerry's presidential nomination speech, and noted commentators stating how Barack Obama wouldn't be a likely prospect for 2008, but one to keep an eye on for the future. It seemed John Edwards would be the more likely candidate at the time. But here we are, in a situation quite probably aided by the shambolic Bush administration, but a hugely exciting situation nonetheless. And not just because it all means we all know it's really annoying Ann Coulter, who seems conspicuous by her absence on the Fox News tonight.
This is probably going to come back and quite roundly bite us in the arse (and thank heavens that this isn't a print medium), but from where we're sitting right now, America is doing a damned good job of redeeming itself right now. Barack Obama has just made reference to the moon landings and the fall of the Berlin Wall. The event happening right now is firmly up there with those two landmarks.
[update 5.23am: CNN and Fox News have both quite commendably broadcast the sound of audience cheering for around fifteen minutes after the end of Barack Obama's victory speech before chipping in with any actual commentary. And Fox News have an alert title of: "Pres-Elect Obama - This Is Your Victory" and are carrying on with coverage while CNN International have cut to adverts. The cynics amonst us might have expected them to go with an editorial line of "TEH SOCIALISMS! YOU WILL DESTROY US ALL!!!1". Now, should we stay in to see if Karl Rove will stay on to offer his personal congratulations, or nip out to buy some newspapers? Even though the newspapers know a lot less than we do right now? Hmm.]
[update 5.30am: Right now on Fox News, Brit Hume is hurriedly pissing the goodwill of seven minutes ago up the wall by trumpeting him aboard as a "new Clinton". Whatever your individual opinion on Bill Clinton is, the tone of his commentary makes quite clear his intent. Can you imagine David Dimbleby announcing the election of David Cameron in 2010 with the words "...and David Cameron is duly elected Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Shit. No, really. In the name of Jesus Cocking Christ! What were you all thinking? You STUPID ARSEHOLES!"
In the world according to Brit Hume, Barack Obama is only President because of the Credit Crunch, and for NO OTHER REASON. Oh, and because Sarah Palin is a "dumb-ass bitch". We'll grant you, that's not a verbatim quote.
A more accurate slogan for Fox News would be "Fox News: It's Like Picking At A Scab".]
[Update 5.50am: Karl Rove is still in the Fox News studio. Ultimately, it was all about funding. While it could be argued that if the Republicans were in the right all along, they wouldn't have been funded so badly by actual fundraisers, you, erm, shouldn't. In the interests of balance, we should probably state that we haven't heard Fox News pin the whole thing on The Liberal Media yet. Come to think of it, where is Bill O'Reilly anyway?]
[Update 6.11am: Bed? Yeah, that's probably a viable proposition right now. Night all. And to think, we didn't even need our 24-juice.]
This is probably going to come back and quite roundly bite us in the arse (and thank heavens that this isn't a print medium), but from where we're sitting right now, America is doing a damned good job of redeeming itself right now. Barack Obama has just made reference to the moon landings and the fall of the Berlin Wall. The event happening right now is firmly up there with those two landmarks.
[update 5.23am: CNN and Fox News have both quite commendably broadcast the sound of audience cheering for around fifteen minutes after the end of Barack Obama's victory speech before chipping in with any actual commentary. And Fox News have an alert title of: "Pres-Elect Obama - This Is Your Victory" and are carrying on with coverage while CNN International have cut to adverts. The cynics amonst us might have expected them to go with an editorial line of "TEH SOCIALISMS! YOU WILL DESTROY US ALL!!!1". Now, should we stay in to see if Karl Rove will stay on to offer his personal congratulations, or nip out to buy some newspapers? Even though the newspapers know a lot less than we do right now? Hmm.]
[update 5.30am: Right now on Fox News, Brit Hume is hurriedly pissing the goodwill of seven minutes ago up the wall by trumpeting him aboard as a "new Clinton". Whatever your individual opinion on Bill Clinton is, the tone of his commentary makes quite clear his intent. Can you imagine David Dimbleby announcing the election of David Cameron in 2010 with the words "...and David Cameron is duly elected Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Shit. No, really. In the name of Jesus Cocking Christ! What were you all thinking? You STUPID ARSEHOLES!"
In the world according to Brit Hume, Barack Obama is only President because of the Credit Crunch, and for NO OTHER REASON. Oh, and because Sarah Palin is a "dumb-ass bitch". We'll grant you, that's not a verbatim quote.
A more accurate slogan for Fox News would be "Fox News: It's Like Picking At A Scab".]
[Update 5.50am: Karl Rove is still in the Fox News studio. Ultimately, it was all about funding. While it could be argued that if the Republicans were in the right all along, they wouldn't have been funded so badly by actual fundraisers, you, erm, shouldn't. In the interests of balance, we should probably state that we haven't heard Fox News pin the whole thing on The Liberal Media yet. Come to think of it, where is Bill O'Reilly anyway?]
[Update 6.11am: Bed? Yeah, that's probably a viable proposition right now. Night all. And to think, we didn't even need our 24-juice.]
Hope
Well, at least until it all turns out like it did with Tony Blair. But, until then: hurrah.
Barack Obama now predicted to take 51% of the popular vote. We were wrong earlier, Jimmy Carter took 50.1% of the popular vote in 1976, but even JFK only took 49.7%. If it stays around 51% for Obama, this will be huge. Should we put the word 'huge' in bold capitals? Yes: this will be HUGE.
[edit] Ah, 1964 would be the last time the Democrats had a notably past-50% percentage of the popular vote, and that on the back of assassin-o-mania. Let's hope we don't see that again soon. We've a sneaking suspicion President Biden won't be quite as popular.
Fox News: Karl Rove Speaks and McCain Concedes
"America has had a black First Family for years. The 1980s had The Cosby Show."
Because that's the same as electing an African-American to the White House for the first time in history.
We know that's not Karl Rove. By the time our mobile phone camera focused, we missed him.
But anyway. McCain concedes. This is really happening!
Even some of the Republican faithful are applauding Obama as McCain makes a genuinely sincere message of congratulation to the Democratic candidate. Fair dues. The two sides of the Republican party, there.
[update] Fox News report that President Bush has called Barack Obama to congratulate him on becoming president. They're also claiming that no Republican supporters at the McCain speech booed the announcement of Obama becoming president. That's certainly not what we heard.
Because that's the same as electing an African-American to the White House for the first time in history.
We know that's not Karl Rove. By the time our mobile phone camera focused, we missed him.
But anyway. McCain concedes. This is really happening!
Even some of the Republican faithful are applauding Obama as McCain makes a genuinely sincere message of congratulation to the Democratic candidate. Fair dues. The two sides of the Republican party, there.
[update] Fox News report that President Bush has called Barack Obama to congratulate him on becoming president. They're also claiming that no Republican supporters at the McCain speech booed the announcement of Obama becoming president. That's certainly not what we heard.
CNN Declare Obama President of the USA
This is probably quite big news. There are certainly around a million people in Chicago getting quite excited about that on our television right now. Paddy Power have already stopped taking bets on it, so it's entirely fair to say they beat CNN to the punch.
In all seriousness, even though it's messed up an update we'd half-written about something more trivial (BBC News putting out a report in the wrong aspect ratio and a now out of date chart of current projections), this is genuinely up there with man landing on the moon and D-Day in the annals of history. Whatever annals actually are. We're quite pleased. And not just because we could now go to bed. It's probably time to start drinking. And how often can you legitimately say that at 4am?
In all seriousness, even though it's messed up an update we'd half-written about something more trivial (BBC News putting out a report in the wrong aspect ratio and a now out of date chart of current projections), this is genuinely up there with man landing on the moon and D-Day in the annals of history. Whatever annals actually are. We're quite pleased. And not just because we could now go to bed. It's probably time to start drinking. And how often can you legitimately say that at 4am?
Breaking Non-News
The Democrats retain control of the Senate. What could this mean? Well, after the DNC captured seats held by retiring GOP senators in Virginia and New Mexico, they're sure to... erm... hey look everyone! It's a YouTube video that mentions Spiro Agnew!
Betting Update:
If you put a penny on McCain, and he won, you could buy Europe.
(Two thousand BrokenTV kudos points on offer for anyone spotting where we're stolen *that* line from.)
Betting Update:
If you put a penny on McCain, and he won, you could buy Europe.
(Two thousand BrokenTV kudos points on offer for anyone spotting where we're stolen *that* line from.)
"You Brought A Spoon To A Spork Fight!"
The Live Daily Show/Colbert special on NOW, video streaming people/Americans who found this blog by mistake. That's where we're stealing all our jokes from for the next six hours.
Betting update:
Obama: 1-1000
McCain: 80-1
And how stingy does that 80-1 seem now?
[update not worth a new post]
BBC News reporting Obama with 50% of the popular vote, to McCain's 49%. While that sounds close, it's (we think) the first time the democrats will take more than 50% of the popular vote since 1960. We may well be wrong on that.
Betting update:
Obama: 1-1000
McCain: 80-1
And how stingy does that 80-1 seem now?
[update not worth a new post]
BBC News reporting Obama with 50% of the popular vote, to McCain's 49%. While that sounds close, it's (we think) the first time the democrats will take more than 50% of the popular vote since 1960. We may well be wrong on that.
Important Confectionery Update
The Fox News crew are looking a little perplexed as it transpires Karl Rove has sent them each some specially made cookies, in the shape of "a widescreen, hi-def television broadcasting Fox News". See, even Karl Rove isn't all evil, in the same way the Margaret Thatcher helped invent butterscotch flavour Angel Delight.
Fox News now reporting Obama on a projected 200 Electoral College votes. Brit Hume does not look happy. Brit "Fume", we call him.
Fox News now reporting Obama on a projected 200 Electoral College votes. Brit Hume does not look happy. Brit "Fume", we call him.
Projections Update
Well, it's safe to say Obama is going to win, especially now ITV News are claiming he has won Ohio. It's time for a large scale round-up of the projections.
All over the place, there. Hey, we haven't done any charts yet.
Phew.
All over the place, there. Hey, we haven't done any charts yet.
Phew.
The Worst News Of The Night
Jon Culshaw is on ITV News. He can do an impersonation of Barack Obama. Bollocks - the main reason we wanted Obama to win is that it might mean less of Jon Culshaw's inaccurate 'act' on our screens. Can we go back in time six months and rig the primaries so that Hillary wins instead?
We can at least take some solace from the fact he can't 'do' Joe Biden. Speaking of whom, we'd forgot to link the YouTube video earlier on where Senator Biden does arguably the worst gaffe of the entire campaign.
Over on Fox News
It's like the funeral of an especially beloved family pet. However, a bit of a discrepancy with the projections.
ITV News
McCain 34, Obama 103
BBC News
McCain 34, Obama 103
Meanwhile, on the News International networks:
Sky News
McCain 32, Obama 39
Fox News
Obama 81, McCain 39
All of the networks have stated that they're not using exit polls for the figures, but rather early counts in each state. Make of that what you will.
BETTING UPDATE
Obama 1-150
McCain 25-1
ITV News
McCain 34, Obama 103
BBC News
McCain 34, Obama 103
Meanwhile, on the News International networks:
Sky News
McCain 32, Obama 39
Fox News
Obama 81, McCain 39
All of the networks have stated that they're not using exit polls for the figures, but rather early counts in each state. Make of that what you will.
BETTING UPDATE
Obama 1-150
McCain 25-1
Over On Sky...
There's a little Street Fighter II-type icon in the lower right of the screen. Note the way the two portraits are leaning violently into each other, as if it's a boxing match.
Oh Sky, can't you think about something other than sport for five minutes? They've just clumsily crashed into the middle of an advert, mid-sentence.
Oh Sky, can't you think about something other than sport for five minutes? They've just clumsily crashed into the middle of an advert, mid-sentence.
What Manner Of Devilry Is This?
Here's a screen grab we'd just taken after mistakenly assuming the Beeb had messed up and were projecting McCain to win the election. We then realised that the "Kentucky" didn't refer to where the current live footage was being shot - it being being transmitted from a plane, so such a caption would need to be continuously updated, so it's clearly meaning they're predicting McCain will win the vote in Kentucky - only to spot something even more sinister:
What the? TWO McCAINS? What are they planning? It's time to put our tinfoil helmets on, we smell a sinister conspiracy.
What the? TWO McCAINS? What are they planning? It's time to put our tinfoil helmets on, we smell a sinister conspiracy.
Live Via Hologram!
CNN don't care what people think any more. Wolf Blitzer is currently talking to Jessica Yellin "Live via Hologram from Chicago".
Yes. Instead of having a correspondent just appear on a 'screen', the CNN boffins have overlaid a three-dimensional representation of Jessica Yellin onto the picture. Wolf is talking to her as if her hologram is actually in the studio. The 'hologram' is even deliberately glitchy, like in Star Wars, just so you really believe in it. Bloody hell.
Yes. Instead of having a correspondent just appear on a 'screen', the CNN boffins have overlaid a three-dimensional representation of Jessica Yellin onto the picture. Wolf is talking to her as if her hologram is actually in the studio. The 'hologram' is even deliberately glitchy, like in Star Wars, just so you really believe in it. Bloody hell.
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
Things Are Almost Happening Now
Well, that was a useful time for our internet connection to go down. It did give us an excuse to sneak a couple of hours of kip.
Now we're awake, and it's time for the 'proper' coverage. While Dimbleby (D) is on BBC One proclaiming how a lot of people are claiming they know who is going to win, until results come in no-one actually knows anything, Alistair Stewart is on ITV1 with a graphic saying that Obama has already won. We can see this thanks to the split-screen feature on our Freeview box.
Meanwhile, CNN are trying to break the world record for most pundits on a desk. Somehow, by their watch, McCain is currently winning eight to three. Maybe it's time for the first of our pointless charts.
Live Betting Update: Paddy Power have stopped considering it a contest, with Obama on 1-33 and McCain on 10-1. Once the first few results trickle in, and it becomes clear Obama isn't just John Kerry squared, McCain's odds will lengthen a lot further.
Now we're awake, and it's time for the 'proper' coverage. While Dimbleby (D) is on BBC One proclaiming how a lot of people are claiming they know who is going to win, until results come in no-one actually knows anything, Alistair Stewart is on ITV1 with a graphic saying that Obama has already won. We can see this thanks to the split-screen feature on our Freeview box.
Meanwhile, CNN are trying to break the world record for most pundits on a desk. Somehow, by their watch, McCain is currently winning eight to three. Maybe it's time for the first of our pointless charts.
Live Betting Update: Paddy Power have stopped considering it a contest, with Obama on 1-33 and McCain on 10-1. Once the first few results trickle in, and it becomes clear Obama isn't just John Kerry squared, McCain's odds will lengthen a lot further.
More Old Election Result Night Awards
MOST OUTRAGEOUSLY BEVELLED TIMECHECK CLOCK
Winner: ABC News This Morning, 1984
CHEAPEST TITLE SEQUENCE
Winner: WTOP Washington, 1972
BEST DESK
Winner: Cleveland City Camera News, 1976
MOST UNFLATTERING PORTRAITS OF CANDIDATES
Winner: CBS, 1992
Poor old Ross Perot.
Winner: ABC News This Morning, 1984
What exactly was behind the mad craze for chucking an outrageous bevel behind every bit of caption text on mid-80s US television? It looked garish, clumsy and all-round nasty. Just because you've found the setting for it in Quantel doesn't mean you have to do it.
CHEAPEST TITLE SEQUENCE
Winner: WTOP Washington, 1972
All the budget went on the demented drawing of the donkey and the elephant, it seems. Did they just fire some letraset out of a cannon?
BEST DESK
Winner: Cleveland City Camera News, 1976
That is fantastic, isn't it? It's like they're about to anchor Olympic ice skating or something. If the BBC has a desk like this tonight, we'd be absolutely delighted.
MOST UNFLATTERING PORTRAITS OF CANDIDATES
Winner: CBS, 1992
Poor old Ross Perot.
Live Or Not Live From The Stump
LIVE UPDATE TICKER: We're watching the streaming MSNBC coverage now. John McCain has just welcomed his 96 year old mother up on stage. Wonder if Jon Stewart will be picking up on that. UPDATE UPDATE: He's just made the "Mac Is Back!" comment again, so this might be a repeat of yesterday's last minute rally. It's hard to tell, as there's no "LIVE" or "RECORDED YESTERDAY" InfoCaption on screen. About a third of the screen is plastered with useless text, but not that. Hey, McCain's Dad is there t... no, that's Joe Lieberman. Hey, now he's telling people not to be afraid of scare tactics! The ironing is delicious.
[edit] It is live, even though he seems to be rehashing last night's speech.
Now, who wants to dip into ten minutes of the CBS coverage of Reagan pummelling a hapless Walter Mondale?
We're sure we won't need to lazily embed YouTube videos all night.
BETTING UPDATE:
Obama: 1-20
McCain: 8-1
It's slipping the way of the Dems right now. It seems that even everyone in America who hasn't already voted finding out just how crazy Joe Biden really is won't be able to save the GOP now.
[edit] It is live, even though he seems to be rehashing last night's speech.
Now, who wants to dip into ten minutes of the CBS coverage of Reagan pummelling a hapless Walter Mondale?
We're sure we won't need to lazily embed YouTube videos all night.
BETTING UPDATE:
Obama: 1-20
McCain: 8-1
It's slipping the way of the Dems right now. It seems that even everyone in America who hasn't already voted finding out just how crazy Joe Biden really is won't be able to save the GOP now.
LIVE US08 BLOG: Betting and Drinking
When you're staying up until the stupid hours watching coverage of the US Elections, you may well be peeking onto Fox News to see just how they're handling the fact the EVIL SOCIALISTS are very likely to sweep back into power and introduce things like SOCIALISED MEDICINE, HAND OPPRESSIVE POWERS TO ALL THE UNIONS and LET THE GAYS MARRY EACH OTHER. You know, exactly the same as when they didn't even remotely do that after the 1992, 1976, 1960, 1932, 1912, 1892 and 1884 elections. But all that means you'll need to stay up super late. How will you stay awake? Or more importantly, how will you stay awake whilst remaining in a Fox mindset?
What you need is 24: The Energy Drink. WE ARE NOT MAKING THIS UP.
We bought a can of this earlier today. We haven't tried it yet, so expect a full review later on, when we're especially tired and desperate for material. With any luck, we'll be on our feet and torturing people who might just be terrorists in no time.
BETTING UPDATE:
Obama: 1-16
McCain: 7-1
Don't forget, at this point four years ago John Kerry was very much the bookmakers' favourite after a strong showing in the exit polls. This could go similarly awry. We shall monitor the situation.
What you need is 24: The Energy Drink. WE ARE NOT MAKING THIS UP.
We bought a can of this earlier today. We haven't tried it yet, so expect a full review later on, when we're especially tired and desperate for material. With any luck, we'll be on our feet and torturing people who might just be terrorists in no time.
BETTING UPDATE:
Obama: 1-16
McCain: 7-1
Don't forget, at this point four years ago John Kerry was very much the bookmakers' favourite after a strong showing in the exit polls. This could go similarly awry. We shall monitor the situation.
LIVE US08 BLOG: And off we go
We've been tormented by the endless coverage for what seems like an entire year. Barely an hour's television viewing would pass without being reminded of the monumental battle between them. But as last, it seems we're nearing the sweet merciful release of a conclusion. Could it happen? Could we really dare to dream? Will we finally be able to retire to our nightly beds, our collective subconscious breathing a huge metaphorical sigh of relief that maybe, just maybe, everything will go the way we're hoping and that we'll soon be living in a somehow slightly more peaceful, sunnier and goshdarnit all-round better world? Yes, that's right. Maybe - just maybe - the couple in those BT adverts could be getting back together. Ooh, fingers crossed!!!
[A distant crack rings out, and a sniper's bullet whizzes just past BrokenTV's ear.]
Oh, please yourselves. It's the massive BrokenTV US Election Live Blog Special!
Only about 726 hours until the first meaningful results start to trickle in, so we're first going to look at some of the results night coverage of the past. And it wouldn't be a BrokenTV selection of pictures from things that happened in the past if we weren't going to dish out some spurious awards, now would it? And we're very lucky to have with us a special guest. Fresh from working with CNN during the live presidential debates, please welcome to the blog... The CNN Uncommitted Ohio Voters Live Opinion Line Chart!
[A distant crack rings out, and a sniper's bullet whizzes just past BrokenTV's ear.]
Oh, please yourselves. It's the massive BrokenTV US Election Live Blog Special!
Only about 726 hours until the first meaningful results start to trickle in, so we're first going to look at some of the results night coverage of the past. And it wouldn't be a BrokenTV selection of pictures from things that happened in the past if we weren't going to dish out some spurious awards, now would it? And we're very lucky to have with us a special guest. Fresh from working with CNN during the live presidential debates, please welcome to the blog... The CNN Uncommitted Ohio Voters Live Opinion Line Chart!
First up:
MOST DEMENTED CARTOON PORTRAYAL OF THE MAIN POLITICAL PARTIES' MASCOTS
Winner: WTOP Washington, 1972.
Whoa! The sixties are over, people, quit it with the LSD-infused imagery.
CHEESIEST INTRO CARD FOR AN ELECTION NIGHT RESULTS TEAM
Winner:Tim Taylor et al, WJKW-TV8, 1984
Replete with signatures from each part of the team.
Sports guy Dick Goddard looks especially pleased that they've let him take part, even though sporting events are traditionally thin on the ground around election night. We suspect he didn't look quite so pleased the time his credit cards were nicked, and the criminals had been able to mimic his signature perfectly.
So, the first couple of awards, and with them the start of our live results night blog. What do you think of the show so far, CNN Uncommitted Ohio Voters Live Opinion Line Chart?
Yeah, not the best start. Nice to see the Ohio ladies perk up a bit once they caught sight of Dick Goddard. Possibly he's America in 1984's version of Gary Lineker.
LIVE UPDATE TICKER: SARAH PALIN HAS VOTED. NO GAFFES TO REPORT. OUR TVU PLAYER STREAM OF FOX NEWS WON'T WORK.
Monday, 3 November 2008
This Is For Uncle Sam!
One day to go, and we must admit it's a real pity we don't get to see the attack ads from each candidate running on our TV. After all, what about the hundreds of thousands of US citizens legally eligible to vote in the Presidential Election currently situated in the UK? Well worth a few low-cost slots on daytime Sky Sports News, surely?
But anyway, in the 1940s they did things properly, with the strangely compelling Hell-Bent For Election. There's little need to try and paint your opponent as "the biggest celebrity on the planet" alongside footage of Paris and Britney, when you can just as well imply they're IN LEAGUE WITH THE NAZIS. It's especially helpful when you've got the legendary Chuck Jones on board, too.
Part One:
Part Two:
Total number of election campaign adverts depicting McCain and Obama as trains: zero. A missed opportunity, we're sure you'll agree.
But anyway, in the 1940s they did things properly, with the strangely compelling Hell-Bent For Election. There's little need to try and paint your opponent as "the biggest celebrity on the planet" alongside footage of Paris and Britney, when you can just as well imply they're IN LEAGUE WITH THE NAZIS. It's especially helpful when you've got the legendary Chuck Jones on board, too.
Part One:
Part Two:
Total number of election campaign adverts depicting McCain and Obama as trains: zero. A missed opportunity, we're sure you'll agree.
