The Top 100 Comedy Albums on Spotify: Part Two

Continuing with the second part of our rundown.

 

Various – Comedy Death Ray (2007)

Home to the only live recording of the mighty David Cross on Spotify (aside from another David Cross, who plays jazz), this dual-disc also takes in snippets of performances from Patton Oswalt, Neil Hamburger, Brian Posehn and the Reno 911 team. A nice primer for up to 18 American stand-up comedians you haven’t heard of before now.

Sample out of context quote: “This movie will scare the cum out of you – I guarantee it!”

The Bonzo Dog Band – Cornology (2008)

A collection so good, we somehow own 1.67 physical copies of it. If you’re not already aware of The Bonzos, go and stand in the corner, and then read this. Luckily, Spotify contains pretty much all of the Bonzos’ output, including the Best Of CD responsible for some of the stupidest censorship on the whole of iTunes, so it’s easily fixed.

“The what? ‘The Blooooody of Bonzo Dog Band’? I don’t understand.”

Two key facts about the Bonzos. One: US stadium-mope band Death Cab For Cutie are named after one of their songs. Two: in the song Rusty (Champion Thrust) (disc three, track twelve) we have one of those songs that we think is utterly brilliant, and everyone else – even, it seems, some members of the band that recorded it – dislikes. Oh, and three: they’re frigging ace.

Sample lyric: “Say hello to big John Wayne, xylophone  And Robert Morley, guitar. Billy Butlin, spoons. And looking very relaxed, Adolf Hitler on vibes. Nice!” – The Intro and the Outro.

 

Doug Stanhope – Deadbeat Hero (2004)

The sort of American stand-up to leave the front row of the audience with spittle-flecked faces at the end of a gig. He first popped up on our radar when he fronted one-off Channel Four Comedy Lab programme Doug Stanhope Go Home. Which is here:

The show was a brilliant look at certain British attitudes to immigration, and can be summed up as essentially “get a fucking clue, you bigoted fucks”. Always handy to show to relatives who like to include you on their racist joke bulk email list.

Sample quote: “There’s too many people in this country, But I think if you’re going to focus on keeping people out, you gotta focus on the people who don’t contribute to society. That’s a no-brainer. There’s a specific group of over four million people that come into this country every year, and who don’t contribute a fuckin’ thing, and everyone knows who I’m talkin’ about, but no-one wants to say it, because it’s politically incorrect. But fuck that, you know who I’m talkin’ about. Babies, that’s who I’m talking about! They come into this country, they don’t speak the language, they don’t wanna work, they just take, and they take. Put the border control official at the base of your uterus!”

Negativland – Dispepsi (1997)
Negativland – Deathsentences of the Polished and Structurally Weak (2002)

More work from sonic terrorists Negativland. Oddly, Happy Hero is a song loosely based on the career of Michael Jackson that hasn’t been played much since his death.

Key lyrics: “They'd plug me in a wheelchair and they'd push me down the hall / I'd play a song for dying kids, your eyes would start to tear / That would be the ticket, to bolster my career” – Happy Hero.

Mitch Hedberg – Do You Believe in Gosh? (2008)

The late US absurdist riffs on a number of subjects, including “Tea Ski” and “Canal Smarts”. 

Sample line: “The word ‘Lull’ has too many L’s in it. Goddamn it, lull is almost all L’s. Thank god for that ‘U’ in it, to break all those L’s up.”

Jim Gaffigan – Doing My Time (2004)

A comedian we feel compelled to label as “Big Jim Gaffigan”, even though we have no idea how tall he is. If you’re trying to place him, he played Murray’s friend in the “Murray Takes It to the Next Level” episode of Flight Of The Conchords. This is a hugely funny album, though oddly (at least in the case of the version on here) all the curse-words are blanked out, which is a little jarring. Still worth a listen, of course.

Sample line: “Isn’t it strange that when you’re single, all you see are couples, but when you’re part of a couple, all you see are hookers?”

Ivor Cutler – Dandruff (1974)
 Ivor Cutler – An Elpee and Two Epees (2005)
Ivor Cutler - Jammy Smears (1976)

A list of comedy albums without including any Ivor Cutler would be unthinkable. Luckily, Spotify fares well here, with several offerings, though sadly Ludo isn’t there, so there’s no Cockadoodledon’t or The Shapely Balloon. With luck, that’ll be remedied at some point in the future. Here are a few of the Cutler cuts available on Spotify..

An Elpee and Two Epees compiles some of Cutler’s early work, dating from 1959 to 1961. Dandruff is a little light on actual songs, packed more tightly with poems and short (sometimes very short) stories. Your best introduction to Cutler as far as Spotify is concerned is possibly 1976’s Jammy Smears, taking in a number of songs, poems and general meanderings from the Scotch surrealist.

Ed Byrne – Pedantic & Whimsical (2006)

One of the hard-to-find stand-up sets from more recent UK/Irish comedians (if anyone knows of any more, please leave a comment), which is nice. The self-confessed Darlene From Roseanne lookalike treats us to over an hour of his observations on planes, The A-Team, McGyver, and okay, we’ve only had time to listen to one track. It’s a top hundred, cut us some slack here.

Peter Sellers – EMI Comedy (2001)

Does anyone know the collective noun for EMI label comedy retrospectives? Because here come a… slew of them? Slew? Would that be right? Here’s Peter Sellers, and a series of gently wry gems. Sample track – a spoken performance of the Beatles song Can’t Buy Me Love, delivered by Sellers taking on the persona of a gentlemanly cad, and a middle-aged lady.

Laurel & Hardy – EMI Comedy (2001)

“You’re in love. L-U-G-H, love.” It also includes the duos performance of The Trail Of The Lonesome Pine from 1937’s Way Out West, which reached number 2 in the UK pop charts some 39 years after being originally issued. More pertinently, it also troubled the Top 40 again about ten years later, meaning we got to see Stan and Ollie on Top Of The Pops Chart Breakers. which was excellent. On video, not in person, obviously.

Max Miller – EMI Comedy (2006)

More near-incomprehensible meanderings from the self-styled “cheeky chappie”. PARENTAL ADVICE WARNING: Contains references to ‘courting’.

Bob Hope – EMI Comedy
Volume One (2002) | Volume Two (2008)

Sample quote: “Of all the forty-eight states, Texas is my favourite three.” Yep, forty-eight. “I left England when I was seven years old. Y’see, in those days, they were exporting ham.” We’re tempted to state how a lot of the material on these albums could almost be Dicky & Dino “hey, I haven’t seen this guy since rehearsal!”-style spoofs, but then Bob Hope was a hugely popular millionaire entertainer, and we’re typing this in a T-shirt bought from TK Maxx.

 Jack Benny – EMI Comedy (2002)

As far as we can tell, Benny’s comedy persona was pretty much that of Tony Hancock’s (comedy persona’s) Stateside cousin, though of course his radio shows pre-dated Tony Hancock’s rise to power. Except, as this was American radio, it was all performed at a faster pace, meaning we’re not very good at making illustrative comparisons. This CD also includes a lot of Frank Nelson, the comedian referenced by “The Jerk That Goes ‘Yeeeeeeess’” in late-era Simpsons.

 Mel Blanc – EMI Comedy (2006)

Prime cuts from the 20th century’s greatest voicesmith’s eponymous radio show. This album also contains a nice sketch where Mel, in character as Elmer Fudd, makes a complaint to, ahem, Fwank Sinatwa.

The Marx Brothers – EMI Comedy (2006)

More radio recordings from the brothers Marx. Includes a nice sketch where Groucho tries to con Al Jolson. In one of the stupidest moves ever done by human hands, almost all of the recordings of 1930s Marx Bros radio sitcom Flywheel, Shyster and Flywheel were destroyed, so you won’t be finding any of them here. Luckily, you can listen to the surviving recordings, along with the 1990s BBC remakes, here.

“Jolson, you’re remarkable. Here you are, old enough to be your father.”

The Goons – EMI Comedy Classics (2001)

If there were a prize for laziest artwork, this would probably win it, thanks to the strapline “XXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXX ZZZZZZZZZ”. Either that’s a clever reference to the purposefully obtuse penmanship of Spike Milligan, or the designer sent out the artwork too soon. Anyway, here are three episodes of The Go On Show, namely “Tales of Old Dartmoor”, “Dishonoured” and “Tale Of Men’s Shirts”. Of course, if you want more Goon goodness, this streaming radio, erm, stream offers nothing but 24/7 Goon Show.

“Here’s my business card.” “It’s blank!” “Business… is bad.”

Jerry Lewis – Jerry Lewis Unrestrained (2008)

If you’re the sort of person who can stand Jerry Lewis putting on an annoying voice for an hour, this this is the sort of album you may well be able to tolerate. We can’t say we’re part of that limited demographic, however. And yet, we think MC Chris is brilliant. Hmm.

Marc Maron – Final Engagement (2009)

Angry, funny, Jewish. His words, not ours, though we can vouch for at least two of those.

“There’s only one way to find out if you’re racist or not. The next time you lose something, that you think has been stolen, see where your head goes. See how many ethnic types you use to cast that short mystery film. How many blacks and latinos do you get through before you finally say, aw fuck, here it is, it was under the seat…”

Flight of the Conchords – Flight of the Conchords (2008)

Hurrah. “The humans are dead (The humans are dead) / The humans are de-ad (They look like they’re dead) / It had to be done (I’ve just confirmed that they’re dead) / So that we could have fu-un (I poked one. It was dead)”.

Todd Barry – From Heaven (2008)

Speaking of the Conchords, here’s “the bongo playing megalomaniac” from the final episode of FotC season one, more commonly known as Todd Barry.

Sample quote: “I saw a guy in the street, with his little boy, like a three-year-old boy. Little boy is wearing a Dead Kennedys T-shirt. I just wanted to walk up to the father and go, “hey, y’know what? Your kid ain’t that cool”. I can just see the father dressing the kid with the mother. “Honey, why you putting that little blue sweater on him? If he wears that, how’s everyone going to know how great my CD collection is?”

Bob & Doug McKenzie – Great White North (1982)

Better known as Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis. Two points here. Firstly, this is kind of like a  version of Wayne’s World, but pre-dating WW by several years, and with Canada replacing heavy metal. Secondly, it’s not quite as good as Wayne’s World, but still worth a listen. Is it just us, or did Rick Moranis disappear off the radar not long after starring in Eric Idle’s Splitting Heirs (still not available on Region 2 DVD)? And yet, Catherine Zeta-Jones’ career soared after being in the same film. At the time, she wasn’t even famous enough to get her name on the poster! We didn’t think Splitting Heirs was that bad, actually. Boy, does that simple statement invalidate everything we’ve said over the previous twenty-five entries.

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The Top 100 Comedy Albums on Spotify: Part One

Well, more accurately, it’s “one hundred comedy albums we could find on Spotify, discounting some really bad ones”. One annoying feature of Spotify is the limited search option. While it’s possible to search by genre (by using “genre:comedy” as the search term), you’re only going to as many results as can be shoved into five lines of text on the results screen. For example:

Oh, just the “173 more”? Don’t want to offer us the chance to see what they are, do you? Not an option, meaning we’ve had to come up with the ruse of typing “genre:comedy –conchords –stanhope –newhart –wright” etc, just to see the other artists tagged as comedy.

It’s all what Sergeant Wilson would call “a terrible fag”, but nevertheless we’ve been rummaging through Spotify to uncover a ton of gems. They’re in no specific order, and to be split up in chunks of twenty-five over several updates.

If you’ve not already got Spotify installed on your computer, go here. It’s free, and supported by adverts, or paid for, with no adverts. More details are here.

Patton Oswalt – Werewolves and Lollipops (2007)

Shouty, acerbic US stand-up. As seen in (and heard on) Seinfeld, Flight of the Conchords, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job, and Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. A funny man, and a worthwhile surrogate David Cross, seeing as David Cross isn’t yet on Spotify.

Sample line: “Sometimes, science is fuckin’ wrong, and gives us shit we don’t need. Like, 63-year-old women giving birth. Why not just come out and go ‘hey, we just made cancer airborne and contagious! You’re welcome! Hey, we’re science. We’re all about could’a, not should’a’.”

Abbott & Costello – Who’s On First (2007)

Not actually from 2007, of course. The listed dates are those displayed on Spotify, presumably the dates of the re-issued content. Anyway, it’s Lou and Bud, who you should already know. This is a compilation from several of their Camel-sponsored radio shows, including the famous routine once famously fluffed by Seymour Skinner.

Sample line: “Last night you were out with two girls!” “Yeah, but I only caught one!”

The Marx Brothers – You Bet Your Life (2007)

Not, as it might seem, a compilation of the Groucho-helmed gameshow, but rather an interesting miscellany of Marx Bros offcuts. Includes a nice radio sketch where Harpo ‘speaks’ to Bing Crosby, through his interpreter Gary Cooper, as well as a radio preview show for Duck Soup – part of “The Paramount Movie Parade. “Each week, the most brilliant stars in the galaxy of screen artists, will project their personalities through your loud speaker, and proceed to lavishly entertain with drama, comedy and song”.

Dudley Moore & Peter Cook – Derek and Clive (Live) (1976)

“Woss the worst job you ever ‘ad?” Inaugural cuntfuckery from Pete and Dud.

Negativland – 180 D’Gs to the Future (2007)

Experimental SF Bay-based sound shenanigans. More than just “The avant-garde Tenacious D”.

Bill Cosby – 200 M.P.H. (1968)

A classic slice of Cosby, spilling his comedic guts on the various members of the family unit, cars, and why he feels that cats are shite. Much of it delivered in his “the kids these days, they’re all a hippin’ and a hoppin’, and a bippin’ and a boppin’, and they don’t understand the jazz”-type drawl lampooned so frequently on Family Guy.

Sample line: “If you want to own a real cat, get a lion. Then you’ll respect him. Then, when some guy breaks in your house at night, he’s going to get a shock.”

A Big Box of British Humour (2006)
Disc 1 | Disc 2 | Disc 3 | Disc 4

A huge compilation of late music-hall era British comedy taking in the likes of Will Hay, Tommy Trindler, Noel Coward, Max Miller, and a further 756 years worth of comedy experience we’re going to unfairly lump together with a curt “etc”. Illustrative track: Jack Warner’s ode to near misses on the pools coupon, If Only I’d Put An X Instead of 1. “Now it’s very, very difficult for workin’ blokes like me, who ain’t been educated at posh schools…”

Spike Milligan – A Collection of Spikes (2008)

Assorted offcuts from Spine Millington, taking in sketches, songs, poems, and readings from his books.

Robin Williams – A Night at the Met (1986)

Annoying as he might seem now, Robin Williams was a cracking stand-up in his prime. This is him in his prime. Easily Disproved Pet Theory Of The Minute: Robin Williams wasn’t as funny as Kenny Everett, which is why he wasn’t as fondly regarded in the UK as he was in the USA during the 1980s.

Flanders & Swan – A Transport of Delight: The Best Of (2003)

Wry piano-based lyrical archery. Includes at least one song about Medeira cake.

Steve Martin – A Wild and Crazy Guy (1978)

While you could reasonably expect just listening to early Martin routines without seeing his physical antics would be as pointless as a Radio 4 adaptation of a Michael Bay film, this is still worth a listen. Especially because it’s free.

Sample line: “Is it okay to shout “movie!” in a crowded fire house?”

Max Miller – All Good Stuff, Lady! (2004)

Hugely popular 1930s faux-offensive music hall giant. Mostly incomprehensible to 21st century ears, and most notable now for being the inspiration of The Fast Show’s Arthur “Where’s Me Washboard” Atkinson character.

Sample line: ”You want ‘ear me on Luxembourg on Sunday – I’m filthy!” No sign of the urban legendary “I didn't know whether to toss myself off or block her passage” line, though.

Monty Python – Another Monty Python Record (1989)

“Good evening. We apologise for the previous apology.” It’s on Spotify in two formats – one where each side of the record is a single track of over 25 minutes (the version named “Another Monty Python CD”), and one where each sketch is an individual track, as if being played from a compact disc (the version named “Another Monty Python Record”). This means that if you’re listening to the council version of Spotify (i.e. the version with adverts), listening to the former will mean fewer instances of Zane Lowe telling you to buy a new phone. The link up there is to the latter, which is preferable for sexy executive types like us, who pay for Spotify Premium.

Lewis Black – Anticipation (2008)

The shouty guy with glasses from The Daily Show. One of the best stand-ups on the circuit today, if you’re asking for our opinion. You weren’t? Oh.

Sample line: “I am a golfer. Now, that’s a Scottish word, and it means ‘asshole’.”

Noel Coward – At Las Vegas (1955)

A splendid find. Astonishingly, it actually does include a number he’d recently tossed off in the Caribbean (this is a lie).

Spinal Tap – Back From The Dead (2009)

It’s The Tap. Not, of course, to be confused with…

Bad News – Bad News (2004)

One of the most surprisingly wonderful finds we’ve made on Spotify – Rik Mayall, Ade Edmondson, Nigel Planer and Peter Richardson having come up with their own spoof metal band for The Comic Strip Presents… at around the same time as Spinal Tap were making their mark on the other side of the Atlantic. All good fun, with a combination of surprisingly not-bad riffola and All The Little Flowers Are Singing-style studio skits.

Sample lines: Vim Fuego: “I am not an ignorant person.” Den Dennis: “I am.” and later in the same sketch, Den Dennis: “What, have you got an ‘O’ Level in bass playing, then?”

Groucho Marx – Best of the Radio Shows (2008)

Unlike the Marx Bros album “You Bet Your Life”, which actually features the best of Marx Brothers’ various radio shows, the album “Best of The Radio Shows” contains the best bits of Groucho-helmed gameshow “You Bet Your Life”. All very confusing, but a nice enough listen as Groucho riffs it up with various contestants.

Sample exchange: “How much do you charge for a bucket of live bait on your ship?” “It’s a passenger ship!” “How much do you charge for a bucket of live passengers on your ship?”

Moore, Cook, Bennett and Miller – Beyond The Fringe: Music From the Original Broadway Cast (1962)

Despite the title, this does include a lot of the sketches, including the majestic The End Of The World, along with Dud’s marvellous inability to keep a straight face when Pete is being especially splendid.

Sample line: “You’re speaking too softly for the human ear, which is what I’m equipped with”.

Chris Rock – Bigger & Blacker (1999)

A landmark album. Best bit: No Sex, Rock’s take on the song Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen). “If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn’t been homeless that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny”.

Billy Connolly – Bill and Albert (1987)

If nothing else, it’s a free chance for us to find out what all the fuss about Billy Connolly was during the 1980s. The only thing of his we really liked was when he appeared on the Kenny Everett Show.

Bob Newhart Faces Bob Newhart (2007)

Originally from 1964, this live recording sees Bob exploring the cultural mores of early 60s American life in his own inimitable style. Includes looks at TV commercials, amateur show contestants and nudist camps, along with a riff on what it might be like if you happened to be a lookalike of Hitler. It would probably be a bit harsh to claim Richard Herring was sitting in the crowd taking notes for the last of those.

Sample line: “Hey, that’s Hitler sitting next to me. When did he get out?”

Jonathan Katz – Caffeinated (2007)

Probably best known in the UK for being the voice and persona behind wobbly-animated shrink Dr. Katz, Jonathan Katz comes over as a more approachable Larry David. He’s a darned funny guy, to boot.

Sample lines: “Actually, I have a good marriage, and d’you know why? My wife and I don’t take each other for granted, and that’s the truth. Every morning, I ask her how she takes her coffee. [Audience giggles] No, it’s a small thing… but it’s annoying.” and “Lately I think my wife has been fooling around, ‘cos our parrot keeps saying ‘Give it to me hard and fast before my husband Jon Katz comes home’.”

Morecambe & Wise – Classic Morecambe & Wise Songs and Sketches (2000)

“The whole thing’s not right!” “No, but it’s cheap.” Easy listening comedy utopia, dating largely (as far as we can tell, though admittedly we’re not experts) from the underrated pre-Eddie Braben, ITV era, along with some of the music from their short-lived movie career. This disc sees an Eric and Ern slightly detached from what we’re more used to, with one sketch involving the duo getting drunk and punching each other in the face quite a lot, and a song ending with Ernie admitting a penchant for wearing lipstick. Yata-ta-ta.

Derek & Clive – Come Again (2003)

Track one is called “You Stupid Cunt”. This gave us a little bit of a shock, because it was in our playlist right next to Classic Morecambe & Wise Songs and Sketches, and at first glance it looked like it was actually the final track on Eric and Ern’s long player. They weren’t quite *that* out there before moving back to the Beeb.
 

That’s it for part one. Part two to follow soon.

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File Under “Pointless Whimsy”

But thanks to a circuitous discussion on crisps on Twitter (see that Twitter box to your right for the full transcript, including a link to the marvellously pompous Wikipedia page for Space Raiders*), we ended up putting this together in about 75 seconds.

(*Genuine quote: “Space Raiders remained at an inflation-beating retail price of 10 pence from their introduction in the late 1970s all the way until late October 2007, when the price was hiked to 15p. The price has continued to fluctuate, reflecting the volatility of the underlying commodity prices.”)

It has absolutely no comedic or artistic worth whatsoever, and really isn’t worth posting on here. And yet: we just have. Think of this update as a new nadir before the forthcoming, brilliant, sure-to-get-us-mentioned-on-Boing-Boing-again four-part update raises the bar once again.

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Don’t Blame Us, We Voted For Arrested Development

There’s currently a poll running on MediaGuardian’s website, asking readers to vote for what they feel is the best TV show of the current decade.

There’s a shortlist of forty shows to choose from, and as the date in the screenshot above shows, it has been running for over three days. Let’s have a look at a few of the current ‘scores’:

Ha.

Ha. We’re sure the above two are down to “the British public not liking someone once they become successful”, rather than “being fleetingly popular is more down to luck than brilliance, whereas long-term popularity needs genuine talent”. After all, Bo Selecta didn’t even make the shortlist.

Ha.

Hurrah. Back when Series A was being previewed, we’d thought something along the lines of “well, the involvement of John Lloyd and Stephen Fry is promising, but it’s just another BBC Two panel show. It won’t last”. Proof, as if it were ever needed, that no-one should ever listen to us about anything. And proof why they don’t, come to think of it.

Crikey. While we do watch and enjoy Top Gear, is it really 588 times better than Life On Mars, The Daily Show, The Thick Of It or House (each currently on 0.1%)? Clearly not. We can’t help but feel there’s some sort of Facebook Group chicanery going on. Ah well, it’s all academic, and once the actual Channel Four series that inspired this poll is broadcast it’s only going to be won by Max & Paddy’s Road To Nowhere, anyway.

The main thing to take away from this poll is that if The Guardian’s website is going to have a poll with forty options to choose from, they’re much better off letting people choose three options, not one.

[update]

A-ha. The figures for Top Gear might just have a little something to do with a thread called “Vote rig: Guardian best TV show of the noughties” on a Top Gear forum, and subsequent spin-off campaigns by Top Gear fans. We’d denounce this behaviour as reprehensible, except it has given us an idea as to how we might just be able to nab a 2010 Webby Award. All it’ll take is for someone to create a messageboard saying how great we are, and then have thousands of people using it. Our fingers are interlocking wickedly right now*.

(*We typed that using our thumbs.)

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The Kevin Bishop Show: A Comprehensive Review

Yet again, Kevin Bishop seems determined to make us look like fools for thinking the pilot episode of his show was quite enjoyable. It’s still a premise with loads of potential – channel hopping through an EPG full of spoofs, replete with semi-authentic station idents and channel numbers, supposedly never staying with an idea long enough for it to get boring (a problem known in the industry as the “reading the full story in The Onion not just the headline” effect). Supposedly. Now, if we’re unlucky, that’ll all be PR guff, and many ideas are actually dragged out for much longer than you’d needed to suck the only joke on offer completely dry. Which will it be, eh?

It’s not very good, basically. In amongst all of the jokes where the punchline is “someone says ‘fuck’ or ‘rape’”, or where a decent idea has been free to hatch from a thought-egg but then left to fend for itself, there are a lot of rehashed ideas from the first series. He’s still doing uninspired “fake Wii games” (ha ha! Chavs! Spliffs!) and “fake Mail on Sunday DVD giveaways”, for crap’s sake (speaking of which, Lucas and Walliams did a much better spoof of a certain classic Frost Report sketch about twelve years ago).

While “Parky/Emu” was a good idea to kick off with, it went downhill from there. The world’s worst Hugh Laurie impression followed immediately after, and later on the nice little Parky/Emu gag was run into the ground, repeating the same joke only with “Wogan/Best” and “Aspel/Reed” tacked on, adding absolutely nothing new to the original premise. At least use other members of the cast dressed as Su Pollard and Clive James if you’re going to do the latter. Tsk.

There were highlights, such as a quick Michael Jackson joke  that didn’t take the lazy route (“coming up next: Michael Jackson – What Really Happened. We haven’t got a clue, but we’ll milk it for an hour anyway”). There were also a few near-highlights, such as the ribbing of format whores Horne and Corden, only for this to be largely devalued after Bishop had spent a lot of time in promotional interviews for the series (such as the one in TV & Satellite Week that we read) moaning about people who’d criticised Horne & Corden’s sketch show. Badly remembered quote: “well, the critics didn’t like it, but it was very popular with the people it was aimed at”. Presumably he made a follow-up comment along the lines of “but you could probably say the same thing about child pornography”, which was cut, else he seems like a bit of a hypocrite right now.

Some sketches weren’t quite as fresh as you’d really hope for a New Face Of Channel Four Comedy. The joke about Top Gear being on Dave quite a lot would have worked more effectively if it hadn’t already been made by… Jeremy “see you next week, or if you’re watching on Dave, see you in two minutes” Clarkson on Top Gear itself. Oh, plus the “Parrot sketch results in refund” had already been done by Cleese and Palin to better effect, too.

A good benchmark of this sort of thing is: “how many of the sketches would have been at home on prime-era Spitting Image?” The “Gritty Bafta”, “Mr Marple” or “footballer at a funeral” skits might well have slotted in during a slow week in the writing room at Fluck & Law Towers. The rest: barely worth uploading to YouTube, frankly.

One of the annoying things about the whole affair is, given the right vehicle and more talented writers, Bishop could be a hugely enjoyable performer. If he was, say, one of the comedy players on Sky’s Soccer AM, he’d be a cult hero (all together now: “two cups of coffee and a choc ice!”), where his “being a bit rubbish at impersonations” would be a boon. As it is now, it’s kind of like he’s fronting a show where a bunch of really funny scripts had been pored over for months, only for an catastrophic write error to have occurred with the final Microsoft Word files, meaning just a few of the primary rough drafts were sent out for shooting instead, padded out with whatever the writers could scribble on the back of a fag packet in the lift at 60 Charlotte Street.

In short, Kevin Bishop: A Poundstretcher Peter Serafinowicz.  In short while trying to be nice about the show because you never know if we’re lucky we’ll end up getting quoted on the DVD release of the show: It’s still slightly funnier than the "3 Mobile Stand-Up Guy” in the sponsor bumpers.

You know, we’re going to keep doing these Comprehensive Reviews until we find a show that lives up to our expectations. Just slagging things off makes us look needlessly grumpy. Bah.

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We Are Klang (BBC 3) : An Extensive Review

Well, it had some nice ideas. Plus, it mentioned (a) The Goodies, and (b) the fact one of the cast looks a bit like a fat Rik Mayall. But! We didn’t actually laugh once, and the musical number came over like Flight Of The Conchords without the production values. Pity, we were looking forward to it.

Not that we’re a blog that dismisses an entire show based on the first episode. We’ll give it another go next week, if only because it’s nice to see a BBC Three comedy show making references to things from before 2003. That’s about as close to ‘off-message’ as a full series on that channel is likely to get*.

(*Discounting Family Guy.)

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The World's Hamburger-Eatingest Clown

Can't sleep. Clown'll eat me.

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BrokenTV: 1, The Man: Nil (Agg score, BrokenTV: 1, The Man: 3,456)

Way back in 2006 we posted a few YouYube videos of Public Information Films starring the legendary Richard Massingham. All has been well since, with thousands of interested viewers dipping into the comedic genius-pool of Mr Massingham. They were so popular in fact, that even the blog of mighty New York radio station WFMU linked to a couple of them. A few months ago, we received this email from YouTube:

Now, given the clips are more than fifty years old and as such have since passed into the public domain, this is clearly nonsense. We can only assume that, as part of the Coughs & Sneezes film was used in Victor Lewis-Smith’s Channel Four show TV Offal*, it was flagged up by some complicated digital fingerprinting doohickery.

(*Speaking of TV Offal, strange to think now that it was a Friday night comedy show on Channel Four. Little chance that sort of thing could happen now. Unless Zeppotron decide they want to do it, anyway. And yes, we realise that lots of actual clips from TV Offal still being on YouTube might destroy our theory.)

Anyway, we’ve whinged at YouTube about this, and in a MASSIVE U-TURN they’ve relented. The clip is back up. So here it is again:

And, now we've mentioned it, a clip of TV Offal:

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Flaylist Update

The ‘Flaylist’ of course being our collaborative Spotify bad cover version playlist that anyone can add tracks to.  Here are today’s new tracks, forwarded by our excellent readers.

Paul Anka – It’s A Sin

Now, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of loungecore when handled correctly. This version of the Tennant/Lowe classic can probably be best described as ‘musically incorrect’. Worst bit: when Anka bursts into an instrumental break by crooning “such a sin!” in an alarming manner.

0.5/10

(The Flaylist also contains Anka’s version of Black Hole Sun, which isn’t quite as bad. But, if you want a much better lounge version of that song, search for the Steve Lawrence & Edie Gorme version on Dirty Edits Vol. 1 - A Collection Of Dirty Classics, It’s much, much better.)

Gregorian Chants – The Power Of Love

Two things that we can be sure is on the playlist of every iPod in the fiery depths of hell: Gregorian Chants, and Celine Dion. And as it’s hell, it’ll be an iPod Mini. If anything, this song wins a bonus point for actually being a Jennifer Rush song that Celine Dion covered. It could so easily have been the version of My Heart Will Go On, which we imagine kickstarts the default playlist of our notional infernal iPod.

1.5/10

The Flaylist also contains the Gregorian Chants version of Love Me Do, by the Beatles. A better song, so we’d give it a whopping 2.5/10.

The Allstars – The Riddle

Originally performed by Nik Kershaw, of course. This version features heavily vocodered vocals, as used on any single from the 1990s where the vocalist couldn’t sing for fupping toffee. cf. Adam Rickitt.

1/10

Tiffany – Panic (Hang the DJ)

Speaking of electronically modified vocal tracks, here’s Tiffany performing a techno-tinged cover of the song by overrated Mancunian miserablists The Smiths. Do you know what, while it’s all a bit limp and flavourless, and Tiffers isn’t putting much energy into it, we quite like it. Maybe it’s because we’ve just been listening to the above three tracks in full.

5.5/10

Madonna – American Pie

No, our musical palate is still functioning correctly, as this is fucking painful to listen to. Genuinely, we think this is the worst record ever to get the number one in the UK. Yes, even worse than Mr Blobby. Even worse than No Doubt. Even worse than Wannabe by the Spice Girls (no, don’t pretend it was anything other than shit). Worse than Michael Jackson’s Earth Song. Worse than having a tramps cock in your ear, in fact.

0.0/10

The Hit Crew – That’s Amore

The Hit Crew have literally hundreds of terrible cover albums available on Spotify, with them actually being culled from a huge pool of session musicians willing to lay down lame cover versions of songs to be sold in nickel and dime stores. This album is the very worst of the lot, which is quite an impressive boast. Just look at that cover. The Hit Crew have also recorded entire albums expressly designed for women whose only friends are their cats (yes, really), we can assure you, no irony was employed in the designing of this album cover.

Still, it’s not the worst album cover by The Hit Crew. There was also this:

…but as it’s a spoken word album, it doesn’t count.

minus500/10

 

As so, as we weep softly while trying to find something a bit less traumatic to listen to, we implore you, yes you, to add more songs of woe to our Spotify bad cover version playlist. DO IT.

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