Friday, 3 December 2010

Doctor Who vs Bing Hitler

You know how we’ve often gone on about how brilliant The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson is? This is precisely why.

[UPDATE: Just posted this in the comments, but might as well put it here too, where people will actually see it.]

Weird thing is, despite all the hard work that clearly went into making that routine, it never actually aired. The rights to use Orbital's remix of the Who theme hadn't been acquired, so that episode actually opened with a clearly pissed off Ferguson saying that they'd just done a brilliant dance routine that now couldn't be shown.

Here’s how the show originally aired. In full, because the people who make The Late Late Show are SO marvellous they don’t mind putting the whole thing online for the world to see, for free. It’s a Doctor Who special!

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Thursday, 2 December 2010

Yule (B)log: Stand-Up Round-Up (2)

From FIFA’s website:

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The 2018 World Cup is to be held in a country where spectators regularly boo black footballers, and the 2022 World Cup is to be held in a country where homosexuality is outlawed. Hmm. Maybe FIFA are going by George W Bush’s definition of ‘mission accomplished’?

Anyway, comedy!

Rhod Gilbert and The Cat That Looked Like Nicholas Lyndhurst

Channel 4 DVD
Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 63

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This year’s offering from Rhod Gilbert, and if you’re keen to hear someone from Wales unconvincingly pretending to be really angry about minor things for 83 minutes, but you don’t know our phone number, this is the DVD for you. Personally, we’ve always felt that Rhod Gilbert is about 78.6% of the way there to being a really entertaining stand-up, and can’t help but be a little surprised at how he manages to bag sold-out tours and his own BBC One series without filling in the gaps in his act. To our minds, the show would be much more enjoyable if the material written by Gilbert remained the same, but was somehow performed by Windsor Davies circa 1981.

A lot of the material, of the “have you noticed [x]? What’s all THAT about, eh?” variety, really could be stronger (even we don’t get confused by washing machines, and we’re idiots), and even when the stronger material kicks in, it’s as if the show had been written using Microsoft Comedy Routine Live 2011. Maybe we’re being needlessly cynical, but we can really imagine that towards writing the end of his set, there are several parts where a cartoon paper clip popped up to proclaim “It looks like you’re trying to squeeze in a callback! How about… making a reference to your earlier routine on vacuum cleaners?”

So, a bit of a let down, but slightly better than his previous live DVD ‘The Award Winning Mince Pie’. At this rate, we’re expecting his live DVD in 2017, called ‘The Toaster That Won Eurovision’ or something, will be pretty good, though.

RATING: C-

Sean Lock – Lockipedia

Universal Pictures UK
Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 86

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The most naturally funny comedian in the UK? We’d say so. In a performance that performers like Rhod Gilbert should take a lot of inspiration from, Lock manages to take similar everyday topics – bags for life, RyanAir, laser eye surgery – but riffs on them with seemingly effortless majesty. Where Rhod Gilbert slides uneasily into his character of “Angry Welsh Guy”, Sean Lock prowls the stage in the guise of a misanthrope who’s long seen recognised the pointlessness of being furious about stuff, and who now delights in warm and cheery malevolence. And it works brilliantly. Most stand-ups can’t help but deliver their lines in a kind of showy “Hey, everyone! I’m on stage! Look at meeeee!” kind of way, while Lock prefers a much more natural style of delivery, which really draws you into his set, letting the funny bits hit the targets of their own accord.

The set does falter a little once it reaches the USP of the tour, namely the Lockipedia segment which sees Lock improvise a routine based on a word from a random audience member. Coming from the man who always puts in a brilliant shift on 8 Out Of 10 Cats no matter how many JackWhitehallalikes are on it that week, the material isn’t poor by any stretch of the imagination, but it doesn’t come close to matching the deftly written and repeatedly finessed gags that make up the remainder of Lock’s show. Happily, he seems to recognise this, and the last part of the show returns to prepared material.

In short: our favourite stand-up comedy DVD of the year so far.

RATING: A

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Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Yule (B)log 2010: Comedy DVD Round-Up (1)

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Yes, yes, we’re aware that updates have been sporadic recently. We even missed the 5th anniversary of the site going live. Rest assured, when BrokenTV’s tenth birthday rolls around, we’ll probably Photoshop a party hat onto the logo or something. But anyway, it’s December, and that means we pledge to do a blog update EVERY! SINGLE! DAY! until the 25th. Could 2010 be the year we make it beyond the 12th before breaking that promise? We’ve got a positive feeling about it, put it that way.

DAY ONE: STAND-UP DVD ROUND-UP

It seems that each year, there’s one type of DVD-based gift that dominates the last-minute-stocking-filler market. A few years ago, it was the football blooper compilation fronted by an annoying  celebrity craze. More recently, we had the Interactive DVD Quiz Game fad, which seemingly lasted until the manufacturers realised they could just shove their half-arsed licenced quizzes onto the Wii instead, and sell them at double the price.

This year, it seems to be stand-up comedy DVDs receiving their very own shelf in your local Tesco Ultrastore, which is, in theory, a marked improvement over, ooh, “Danny Dyer’s Funniest Football Foul-Ups” or something. Ha! Can you imagine if someone was still bringing out rubbish like tha… oh. Oh dear. (“Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,147 in DVD”)

Where were we? Ah yes. Stand-up comedy has always been around in a variety of recorded formats, both audio and visual, ever since the wax cylinder of Thomas Edison’s “Quadruplex Teleg-laughs!!!” first hit Manhattan stores in 1884, but this year has seen a non-literal explosion of them, with more stand-up comedy DVDs released in the run up to Christmas 2010 than at any previous point in recorded history. Citation needed.

In our first Yule (B)log of 2010, we take a look at a few of them, and tell you which ones you should consider. JOIN US.

 

Frankie Boyle Live: If I Could Reach Out Through Your TV and Strangle You I Would

Channel 4 DVD
Amazon Sales Rank (DVD): 21

 

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We used to like Frankie Boyle. There aren’t many reasons to go anywhere near BBC Two when Mock The Week is being broadcast on it, but Boyle made it worth occasionally sitting through the lobe-molesting delivery of Andy Parsons’ topical observations. Yes, a lot of his jokes were expressly written with the intent of shocking the kind of people who write letters to mid-market tabloids, but they were interspersed with standard panel show fare like “anyone who’s been to Middlesbrough will know that living to 53 is maybe a bit long. Sort of like Blade Runner without the special effects.”

Sadly, at some point, Boyle realised that he could make just as much money by making the majority of his jokes about rape, paedophilia, Susan Boyle and Josef Fritzl, pausing only to charmlessly insult audience members. By the time of his “I Would Happily Punch Every One Of You In The Face” tour, a performance from which makes up this DVD, he does little else.

The end result, well, you know the two scenes with the little girl in the red coat from Schindler’s List? Imagine that, only repeated over and over and over as if it were a Holocaust-themed version of Wario Ware, the soundtrack being nought but increasingly heavy use of a swannee whistle, and you’ve pretty much got Frankie Boyle’s new DVD summed up right there. When something shocking proves to be unexpected, even in an already brazenly impolite context, it needs to sneak up on you for it to have any real impact. When you’re left with what is effectively a Scotsman shouting the word ‘cunt’ at a photo of a kitten for eighty minutes, no matter how good a few of the jokes are, it’s hard to summon up the energy to keep caring.

Oh, and if you’re watching his new Channel Four series and are hoping to get this DVD for Christmas – there’s a good chance you’ll have heard all the material on it used in the series by that point. Though we suspect not many people will bother reaching the end of Tramadol Nights, what with it being utterly woeful.

RATING: D+

Ricky Gervais Live IV – Science

Universal Pictures UK
Amazon Bestsellers Rank (DVD): 39

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As we all saw in “Ricky Gervais Meets Garry Shandling”, Gervais can’t take a joke when it’s made at his own expense, but can he still make them?

After the two most recent live DVDs from the 11 O’Clock Show star proved to be a little on the disappointing side – especially after ‘Animals’ showed how good a stand-up he can be – we weren’t expecting too much from this. Pleasingly, ‘Science’ is a bit of a return to form for the star of BBC Two reality show ‘Celebrity Boxing’. It isn’t quite up to the level of ‘Animals’, and the parts where he refers to how rich and successful he is (in that “aah, I’m being ironic though, even though I’m not” manner of his) still grate as much as ever, but this performance will generate more laughs than “Politics” and “Fame” combined.

RATING: B-

 

Tim Vine - Punslinger Live

Spirit Entertainment Limited
Amazon Bestsellers Rank (DVD): 340

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“I don’t like Lion Bars. They’re such unwelcoming places.”

In a year where at least 95% of stand-up comedy DVDs seem bound by law to make the same jokes about Michael Jackson’s death (most common joke: that everyone has been making jokes about it since it happened), we possibly need Tim Vine more than ever. Now that Harry Hill seems to have given up live performances in favour of phoning it in on TV Burp (hasn’t the latest series been rubbish?), there’s only one real choice for a comedy DVD that the whole family really can enjoy while waiting for this year’s Christmas pudding to cool. Provided you’re suitably persuasive in arguing that Tim Vine really is much, much funnier than Michael McIntyre, of course. Because Tim Vine isn’t as popular as he really deserves to be.

Sure, in isolation, many of his one-liners might not seem to be that great (“The Archbishop of Canterbury came up to me, he said ‘you’re excommunicated!’ I thought an old girlfriend had sent me an email”), but thrown at you like relentless handfuls of comedy gravel, you can’t help but find a daft grin form beneath your nose. Very often, you’ll find that grin developing into a chuckle, if only with incredulity at the occasions where he’ll try to pull off an especially clattery pun while on stage in front of people who’ve paid to be there. Even throughout the weaker gags, you’ll still find yourself smiling, mainly because as performers go, Tim Vine is pretty much impossible to hate. He even has the good grace to seem genuinely surprised when the crowd call for an encore at the end.

The only downside to the disc is that the main performance is a bit on the short side, at a tadge over an hour. Of course, with it being Tim Vine set, this does mean you’ve got a few hundred jokes crammed tightly into that hour, but we’d really like him to pad things out by including some of his older gems. Going by the reaction of the crowd in this performance, you can’t help but feel they’d feel the same. After all, if it’s good enough for Ken Dodd...

Petty griping aside, Punslinger is a hugely enjoyable way to spend an hour of your festive break. The rapidfire delivery of unrelated gags mean that even if you’ve been momentarily distracted by a hunt for that elusive After Eight envelope still containing a wafer-thin treat, you can rejoin the fun without having to ask whoever’s nearest the remote to hit the rewind button. Splendid.

RATING: A-

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Monday, 29 November 2010

“No, These Are My Wife’s Slacks.”

RIP Leslie Nielsen, .

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Thursday, 18 November 2010

“I Won’t #HIGNFY That With A Response.”

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Noticed how certain BBC programmes now seem to flash up the Twitter hashtags they’d like viewers to use at the start of each show? Bit presumptuous, isn’t it? It’s like they’re saying “if you’re going to way how wonderful we are, please use this as a signifier, so we’re able to use you all as a free focus group.”

Anyway, we’ve conducted an in-depth investigation into how these hashtags are actually used during the broadcast of a sample BBC programme from tonight. Here are the results.

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Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Clonkingly Stupid Screen Furniture Of The Decade (2)

In a thrilling change to their usual diet of complete and utter drek (Your Face Or Mine, Distraction, Balls Of Steel – y’know, all the stuff too rubbish to be repeated on E4), 4Music have started broadcasting the wonderful Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!. Generally at around midnight, and never at quite the advertised time, so your PVR recordings are likely to be topped or tailed by seven minutes of Mark Dolan’s smug wrong face, but still, at least the thought is there, eh?

Well, the idiocy doesn’t stop there. The entire show has been cropped really badly from 4:3 into widescreen. That’s stupid enough with a standard comedy show, but when it’s a programme packed with loads of amusing on-screen text, it does kind of ruin things. Throw in a huge on-screen graphic at all times telling you the name of the programme you’re watching (even though you’ll already know what the name of the programme is, because it’ll be right there, on the EPG), and, well…

ACTUAL SCREENSHOTS AS SEEN ON 4MUSIC.

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4Music: the clumsy step-son of the Channel Four family that never seems to do anything right.

 

In other “while we’ve got the screen grabbing program loaded on our Freeview box” news, every time we see the special BBC One/Children In Need idents with Pudsey leaning into the screen and waving…

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…we can’t help but think of this from Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

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“BONG! Start again.”

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Sunday, 7 November 2010

Clonkingly Stupid Screen Furniture Of The Decade

You know how new-fangled digital channels feel you need to be slammed over the head with the details of subsequent programmes the very femtosecond the end credits begin to roll, lest you pick up the remote and switch to one of the many other programmes starting at, er, 10.50pm? Worse still are channels who decide this information has to be globbed onto your screen during the final moments of the programme itself, as the BBC infamously tried when decided the best way to add to a tense cliffhanger during an episode of Doctor Who was to throw a cartoon Graham Norton at it.

Well, Comedy Central (UK) have decided just discreetly sliding a few lines of text onto the bottom of your screen at the end of a programme just won’t grab anyone’s attention. No, as we noticed when watching our recording of Sean Lock Live earlier today, squeezing the ending of the thing you’re actually watching into the left half of the screen is a way to really grab the attention of those viewers. “Hey, you know what? Fuck enjoying the ending of the thing you’re watching, there are more programmes coming up ANY MOMENT NOW. After some adverts.”

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Now, this is rendered especially pointless for three reasons. ONE. We’re watching Comedy Central after 9pm, so there was already an 80% chance the next two programmes were going to be Peter Kay at the Comedy Store and South Park. TWO. These days, there’s a pretty good chance someone is watching a show using a PVR. Unless Sky have added a time-travel option to the remote on new Sky HD boxes, we’re not going to be viewing the next programme. THREE. Doing shit like this only makes us hate your channel and makes us not want to watch it again unless you do something special, like start showing The Colbert Report.

Where will it all end?

Our guess: by 2013 the last minute of every television programme will see a quarter of the screen taken up by live footage of a pair of goldfish swimming around inside a blender which, for the moment, is switched off.

After ten seconds, text scrolls alongside the bottom of the screen, simply stating “This is live footage of two goldfish in a blender. If the overnight figures for tonight’s viewing show that more than 5% of the audience change channel before the next programme, the blender is switched on, with the fish still inside it, live, on air, tomorrow evening. Coming up next on Comedy Central, Two and a Half Men.”

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Sunday, 31 October 2010

Hidden (YouTube) Pleasures: Part One

In a discovery that fills us with three parts excitement and two parts simmering resentment*, there seem to be a growing number of fondly remembered, though never commercially released, TV shows on YouTube. This is a marvellous thing, so here’s a quick rundown of our latest finds.

(*over the time we spent untold hours making a video of The BrokenTV Awards, only for it to be near-instantly removed from YouTube because it had ten-second long clips of Channel Four shows in it.)

NOTE: Presumably because the programmes involved are so dimly remembered by anyone, they seem to sneak under the copyright barrier, but that’s unlikely to be for long. We’d suggest you watch them now, while you can. And don’t, for example, download the videos involved by using a YouTube download app, because that would be wrong. (Our tip: if you’re using Firefox, install the Greasemonkey extension, and then the YousableTubeFix script.)

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Tuesday, 26 October 2010

You Have Not Been Watching

"I'm head of the class / I'm popular / I'm a quarter back / I'm popular / My mom says I'm a catch / I'm popular / I'm never last picked / I got a cheerleading chick."

So sang 90s alt. rock also-rans Nada Surf in their 1996 offering “popular”, but what about those at the bottom of the social pecking order? Especially when it comes to television channels? (Yeah, we tried to think of a clever segue there, and failed miserably.) Which digital TV channels are being sent off to the electronic programme guide with a pudding basin haircut, unfashionable trainers and their elder brother’s unlicensed Def Leppard pencil case? Well, after recently being reminded of an odd-one-out round in Have I Got News For You where sneery mention was made of Sgorio on S4C officially being watched by no-one*, we decided to find out.

(*Which of course simply means that too few BARB diarists watched a given programme to be extrapolated into a four figure national viewing figure, of course. But it is more fun to make out a TV show had no viewers at all. As we probably will in this blog update.)

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“Tee-hee! Welsh people! Guffaw! Also, John Prescott is still fat, and we still get paid for this tosh.”
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Sunday, 17 October 2010

TV Listings Fail

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Oh, ITV.

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