Wednesday, 6 June 2007

Broken Brother: Part Three

We've finally got around to watching the highlight shows. All of them. In one evening. Including Friday's live show. For you. Because we care. And because we thought we'd better have something proper to say about it, given we've tried to squeeze a week's worth of updates out of the Wikipedia page for it, the Betfair odds and the Word Count extension for FireFox. Here are a few thoughts that thousands of people have already said on other blogs by now, so we'll keep it mercifully short.

As ever, there seem to be three distinct camps in the preliminary rounds of Big Brother. One contains the people who seem quite annoying at first, but after a while aren't that bad, such as Emily, quite rightly top of our Fame-o-meter, or Carole, who seems quite staggeringly different from her pre-bungalow montage so far. Another contains the people who'd seemed quite nice, but soon display themselves to be The Worst Person In Britain As Far As The Tabloids Are Concerned, namely the aggressively vacuous Charley (who doesn't seem to realise that being the first one to leave the bungalow rarely even garners a Conference South level of celebrity). The other, larger group contains the supporting cast who kind of blend into the background; the others, even including Sam and Amanda, who put the twee in twins (erm, does that work? Has anyone else said that yet? Oh).

For the most part, as ever, the contestants aren't in full-on Ooh, Look At Meeeeee, Davina mode and tend to relax into their everyday personalities, meaning they're generally quite difficult to dislike. Unless they're trying especially hard to be disagreeable like Charley. Even Tracey has stop saying "'ave it" every four seconds, thankfully. After watching the first highlight show, we'd prepared a comment along the lines of "how can someone who seems so determined to point out that she's more unique than everyone else be such a horrendous stereotype? Catherine Tate is very probably kicking herself for missing out on Middle Aged Clubber Woman Who Always Does The Same Thing", but that now seems callous and nasty. Bah.

We've noticed that there doesn't even seem to be an Official Big Brother I-Thought-Scousers-Come-From-Newcastle standard Thicko this time, almost definitely so there's less risk of overt racism. Despite initial appearances, the twins wouldn't scrape a Level 2 NVQ in Dimwittery, and Charley's more self-centred than anything else. Once The Blokes storm into the house this may well change, but for now it's reasonably well mannered. Which is a polite way of saying "pretty dull". Unless one of the next three bungalowmates to enter is a baboon with toothache, we might well get rather bored of all this.

So: graphs. It's not really worth updating the Fame-O-Meter right now, hardly anything has changed and it might well need a massive reimagining over the next few days. Luckily, galloping to the rescue on a numerical steed comes Ollie from Betfair, who has been good enough to supply us with spreadsheets of Betfair's daily prices since day one of the Big Brother Bungalow. So now, here in glorious Office-2007-o-vision (because we put them together at work) are some nice hot graphs. Hey, they're probably slightly less dull than watching Chris Moyles host Big Brother's Big Mouth.

Firstly, because having everyone on the same graph was like a car crash, the outsiders. Lovely Emily is hopping along in at 30, so we've plonked a fiver on her. We can always lay the bet once her odds drop AS THEY SURELY WILL. Charley is struggling in last place on about the same odds as Kieran Richardson signing for Inter Milan.

There's the middle bunch, squabbling for the middle ground like eejits.

And there are the favourites. Fairly surprisingly as far as we're concerned, Ziggy's odds have lengthened, despite him seeming more agreeable as the days have progressed. Carole at second favourite seems a bit of a shock, given that we're sure she'll get bored of it all by the end of the first month and walk, especially if most of the others devote most of their energy to cooing over any new male co-inhabitants. Chanelle seems quite desperate to become this years' Chantelle, and Laura seems like a nice person, but we're sure she's only in the house to give Justin Lee Collins someone to do a piss-poor impression of during The Friday Night Project.

Our prediction: Someone who isn't even in the bungalow yet to win it. But hopefully not before Emily's odds have dropped to single figures and we've made a killing.

Someone who knows what they're talking about's prediction: We've got permission to post the following bit of proper knowledge from Steve, the Betfair Betting Expert.

Keep stakes low. Don't be fooled into the 60% book on Betfair (the winner may not even be in the house yet). With 3 months of Big Brother anything can happen. It won't be as simple as picking the winner Pete from last year. I have managed to lock in (no loss) green book on the winner's market through some trading. Nothing big or worth shouting about but a green book of £45 always makes me smile. Backed Chanelle at 32 as soon as she entered the house and then layed her at 27 the next day. Then laying Ziggy at 7.4 when he entered the house and backing him at 7.8 the next morning.

I think this year's show will be one of the most interesting yet. Big Brother wants a love relationship to blossom and I think we will see it. Will it be Chanelle and Ziggy? Odds are shortening every day. I'd give odds of 1.1 they will kiss sometime in the show.

The two prices that have been affected most over the last 24 hours are those of Chanelle and Emily. Chanelle's price got significantly shorter throughout yesterday and she became second favourite at one point however this soon changed after a late night row with Emily over a pair of hair straighteners. Chanelle is back to being third favourite while Emily's price has drifted from 25 to 30.

Tracey and both the twin's prices have all shortened meaning Emily is now the fourth least favoured housemate.
The Big Bouncy Betfair BB Betting Blog is in full here, for anyone who wants to read it. And that's enough plugging Betfair for now. Other betting websites are also available, folks.

More BB07 fun next time, where BrokenTV shamelessly tries to sneak back onto the artistic roll-call, and we try to think about something to write about that isn't Big Brother or a graph.

Pop Fact: We were going to visit the Hay Festival this week. We've ended up doing this. Best laid plans, eh?

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