A Thinly Disguised Excuse to Wax Lyrical About Supermarkets

  • 4/28/2008 01:33:00 am
  • By Mark Gibbings-Jones
  • 7 Comments




But anyway.

Here's something we've noticed about supermarkets lately: occasionally, when you've laid your shopping onto the little conveyor belt, there's no spare 'next customer please' divider. The next shopper comes along, and proceeds to leave a gap of between twelve and eighteen inches between your shopping and theirs. Look, Lord Fucking Snooty, we might purchase groceries largely comprising of ready meals, yoghurt, wine and fizzy pop, but OUR SHOPPING DOESN'T HAVE FLEAS. There's no need for a sodding 'safety zone' between the two sets of groceries, and there's very little chance we're going to mistake your sodding organic muesli for our huge bag of Monster Munch, you massive pointless waste of skin. Honestly, it takes real effort not to beat some people senseless with the 'next customer please' divider once it's finally passed on to you.

Also, people who chuck supermarket baskets into the little depository stands, but either leave them with one of the handles covering the middle section of the basket, or even thrown onto the pile at an angle, either of which forcing the subsequent basket-shopper to bend down and position them correctly before being able to place their own empty basket in the stand, should be kneecapped by shotgun-toting cashiers. It may seem harsh, but quite frankly, it's the best way to maintain a polite society.

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