"I went to the local video shop and I said, 'Can I borrow Batman Forever?' He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow'"Tommy Cooper died in 1984. The movie Batman Forever was released ELEVEN YEARS LATER, and wouldn't have been available to rent until 1996. UNLESS THE JOKE WAS PERFORMED BY A ZOMBIE TOMMY COOPER, IT CANNOT HAVE BEEN HIS JOKE.
It is now our life's mission to force everyone we know to watch Tim Vine's live DVD.
I was playing the piano in a bar and this elephant walked in and started crying his heart out. I said "Do you recognise the tune?" He said "No, I recognise the ivory"