The Inevitably Disappointing Sequel To Really Popular Update Awards 1980

Given that our posting about Panini's Football '80 Sticker Album has proved surprisingly popular, attracting the attention of several popular internet forums (and just the one stupid racist prick - way to debunk that assumption that Everton fans are likely to be bigots, 'MarkEFC'*), here's a not-as-good follow up. Hey, the Football '80 sticker album is not the comedy goldmine you might expect it is.

(*And, just in case he subsequently edits that post, proof in .gif form.)

EARL HICKEY AWARD FOR SERVICES TO POSING WHEN A PHOTOGRAPH IS BEING TAKEN OF YOU

Joint winners: Mike Lyons (Everton) and Donato Nardiello (Coventry City)

Maybe they're both re-enacting the title sequence to Imagine..., twenty-two years before Alan Yentob thought of it.

THE SEE YOU NEXT WEDNESDAY AWARD FOR LOOKING UNCANNILY LIKE THE MALE LEAD OF A SPUFF FLICK: Brian Roberts (Coventry City)

Ooh, bad luck Yorath. Maybe next year. Providing we find an almost-complete copy of Football '81 at the next car boot sale we visit, and it's on sale for less than £2.

DAVID WALLIAMS AWARD FOR LOOKING A BIT LIKE DAVID WALLIAMS IN A SKETCH FROM THE NEXT SERIES OF LITTLE BRITAIN: Ally Donaldson (Dundee)

The character's catchphrase would be... actually, it doesn't matter what the character's catchphrase would be, only that by it's third outing you'd be sick of it and would just wish they'd get on with doing proper jokes, like when they were Mash and Peas. If the last series of Little Britain is any indication, he'd probably just take a shit against the goalpost each week, and subsequently be lauded for being "refreshingly politically incorrect" by fuckwits.

THE BORIS JOHNSON/MICKY DOLENZ AWARD FOR LOOKING LIKE YOU'RE STARING IMCOMPREHENSIVELY AT AN AUTOCUE WHILST LOOKING A LITTLE BIT LIKE MICKY DOLENZ FROM THE MONKEES: Shaun Elliott (Sunderland)

Maybe the photographer has written "Shaun Elliott's mum is a..." and then something moderately illegible on a little sticker above the lens of his camera, in order to attract the attention of the easily-distracted Eilliott. In which case, it hasn't quite worked. This was the best shot he got of him all afternoon.

THE RICHARD WILSON IN THAT EPISODE OF SOME MOTHER'S DO 'AVE 'EM AWARD FOR BEING UNABLE TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE, THEREBY CAUSING SLIGHTLY MORE AMUSEMENT FOR THE VIEWER: Keith Hicks (Oldham Athletic)

Maybe he's reading the message about Shaun Elliott's mum.

THE INAUGURAL JIMMY BONE AWARD FOR RESTORING HOPE TO ALL SLIGHTLY UNFIT AND OVERWEIGHT MEN ON THE WRONG SIDE OF 30 THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, WITH THE RIGHT SCOUT TURNING UP TO THE RIGHT PUB LEAGUE MATCH, THEY COULD STILL MAKE IT INTO PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL, BUT ONLY IF IT WAS STILL 1980: Jimmy Bone (St. Mirren)

This very logic was applied to the world of cinema in 1996, you know.