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  • 6/04/2006 08:04:00 pm
  • By Mark Gibbings-Jones
  • 4 Comments

More crumbs shaken from the archive toaster:

HUGH LAURIE AND BOOZE

Thatcher's Britain, eh? Pff.

Not quite up to the standards of the Fry Ampersand Laurie Alliance and Leicester adverts, this advert from, ooh, 1981? sees Our Hugh playing Bloke In Pub Looking For Work In Harsh Ecomomic Climate. Upon being served with a pint of Kestrel, his mind wanders to his dream vocation...

"Needs more dog."

Yes, it's a bit rubbish. Yes, Hugh is doing Generic Nerd Voice. Yes, there isn't even a decent payoff. But we're saying it's worth watching, not least because it's as far removed from Hugh in his Dr Gregory House mode as it is possible to be (and not just because saying Dr Gregory House is likely to boost the hit counter for the blog. Although just to be sure: Doctor Gregory House).

OMINOUS VOICEOVER PRODUCTIONS PRESENT

Is it just us, or did every other big budget business-orientated advert of the 1980s that came after that Apple Mac advert get it a bit wrong, and end up looking like it was going to be a public information film about AIDS or something? Quite possibly, but here's just one reason why we shall not be swayed from that opinion.

There's nothing like scare tactics to trick businessmen
(in their shirts and ties) into buying overpriced computers,
you know.


DARK HELMET, MORE LIKE

Ah, the power of ripping off a well-known (and at the time, topical) movie, but doing it so badly there's little chance of you getting sued for copyright infringement.

Oh noes! It is Darth Vader! This must be a new
one of those Star Wars films!


Chuck in some generic 'What The Future Will Be Like' cliches, and you're down the wine bar toilets eating lots of cocaines with your advertising chums before you can say "that slogan will come back and bite you in the arse, you know".

Oh noes! It was just a rubbish advert after all!

BEFORE RED BEE, THEY USED THE KIDS FROM WHY DON'T YOU...?, IT SEEMS

Honestly, how rubbish is the animation at the start of this programme trail for BBC1? Funny thing is, we'd be overjoyed if they ever did anything like this again. It'd be a squillion times better than lots of stage-school brats in snowflake costumes.

You think it looks dodgy as a still. Just
wait until you see it in motion.


"GIVE UP? I WAS PAUL SQUIRES!!!" "WHO?"

Just bask in the 1981-ness of that opening faux-CGI ITV logo at the start. Mmm.

There's a control console and everything!

Then it's into a promo for The Paul Squires Show. We especially enjoy the announcer's forced jollity. Can you imagine a 21st century continuity announcer trying to sound this excited about an episode of Feel The Force? Us, neither.

"Smile, or I play the guitar."

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