Yule (B)Log XIII: Scha-ha-ha-denfreude

  • 12/13/2007 11:50:00 pm
  • By Mark Gibbings-Jones

Being a bit of a gullible lot, we've spent much of 2007 frittering away our child benefit on ITV's 'Make Your Play', entering 'You Say, We Pay' at the very last minute (we thought that'd be the luckiest time to call) and trying to claim our winnings from the European Internet Lottery (every week we fall for that one), we haven't actually got any money left to buy any of our friends and relatives a Christmas present.

Usually, the long wait until the 25th, when we get to spend an entire day avoiding eye contact with members of the BrokenTV clan as they admonish us for giving them a personalised paperweight (brick with their name crudely Tipp-exxed on the side) again, is a painful one. Seeing all those lovely shiny trinkets in Asda as we shuffle towards the "Whoops! 75% off" meat counter makes us feel all sad and wish we hadn't fell for the "GET AN 80GB IPOD FOR £10 OMG L@@@@@K!!!1" eBay pyramid scam for the fifth year running.

One crumb of comfort, though. There's going to be bit of company in the "oh dear lord, no" segment of the Christmas Emotional Rollercoaster Venn Diagram (usually it's just us, and men who've got a 'little too relaxed' next to their partner in bed after a Christmas Eve booze-up).

Ah, it wouldn't be Christmas without there being a chance for Peter Kay to rake in mountains of cash without the troubling task of 'doing anything'. Hot on the heels of 2003's Live At The Bolton Albert Halls, 2004's release of exactly the same stand-up set performed 16 miles down the road, and 2006's Peter Kay: The Live Collection, comes Peter Kay: Stand Up UKay. A once in a lifetime chance to see... highlights of his other live DVDs. Or, as the blurb puts it, "With unique insight and interviews with the Great British Public, ‘Stand-up UK’ is a joyful celebration of not only the comedy of Peter Kay but of British humour in the 21st Century."

Yes, it's Peter Kay: The Clip Show. Without even having ANY new footage from the Boltonian Gigglesmith himself. All for £12.98, although Amazon lists the RRP as £21.99. That's twenty-one pounds, and ninety-nine pence.

Fun Peter Kay Fact!
If an elderly grandmother living alone on a state pension decides to buy this DVD at full retail price for her grandson, it will cost precisely 25.25% of her weekly income!

So, what else will granny get for the large proportion of her only weekly income she's going to spend on this, because little Johnny likes that nice Peter Kay, and he won't already have this one because it says "NEW!" on the sticker?
"Classic routines especially chosen by the British public, including Garlic Bread, Dipping Biscuits, the dancing skills of people at weddings, as well as the video for the No. 1 smash-hit ‘(I’m Gonna Be) 500 Miles’."
Hurrah! On top of all that 'saying garlic bread several times' business, he'll also get to see that pop video Peter Kay made for Comic Relief. And we know he made it, because he was the only person to direct a segment of Red Nose Day 2007 to insist on a 'directed by' credit. Although interestingly, the back of the DVD case doesn't state that Comic Relief are getting a cut of any profits from this DVD. Hmm.

Fun Peter Kay Fact!
This DVD is at number 11 on the Tesco DVD chart, just above Ricky Gervais: Fame.

But what about that 'Great British Public'? What are they saying about the Peter Kay DVD that THEY compiled? Amazon has the answer:

"you would be better paying an extra 3 kwid and buying the box set of the albert halls and top of the tower"
"this kind of cynical moneymaking exercise is morally wrong and Kay shouldn't be allowed to get away with it"
"don't be a mug like me and fall for this limp, stale compilation of old comedy crumbs swept up from the floor of the Bolton Albert Halls and Blackpool Tower DVDs"
Our favourite review is the following one, though:
"Peter Kay IS a national treasure and I'll certainly be buying myself this little beauty for Christmas! Like that other Christmas essential, a good stilton, the sketches of Peter Kay get even better as they mature and I can't wait to see all the classics in one place!"
Interestingly, we can't see any other reviews by Alison Mitchell of London. Although when we Googled "Alison Mitchell (London)", the first hit was for "a highly specialist advertising, incentives and marketing agency based in the City of London".

Presumably a coincidence. And never mind, once next years' Peter Kay cash-in DVD, "Max And Paddy: Punching Kittens In Their Stupid Mewling Faces", hits the shelves, that reputation will be restored.

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