"Almost As Popular as Ben Adams"

It's probably time we had a look at how our Celebrity Big Brother Fame-o-tron is shaping up. Or rather, the Ultimate CBB Fame-O-Tron Redux, because we've adapted it. We're still counting up the current Wikipedia wordcounts for each of the contestants, but now we're factoring in:

* The number of news stories for each celebrity, over the previous month, from Google News.
* A special bonus of up to 700 points, based on the Alexa ranking of each celebrity's official website.

Of that latter factor, here's the skinny. Eight of the contestants have official websites at the moment, with only Tina, Verne and Ulrika lacking their own digital domains. Terry has an official website, but it has a ranking of 'no data' on Alexa, meaning it's blocked by robots or something. Of the others, here are the rankings, remembering that lower numbers are what you're looking for here:

Lucypinder.info 144,034 (700 pts)
Coolio.com 1,626,732 (600 pts)
Latoyaonline.com 1,822,043 (500 pts)
Benadams.uk.com 2,875,997 (400 pts)
Mutyamusic.com 3,700,106 (300 pts)
Solidarityscotland.org (Tommy) 7,247,663 (200 pts)
Officialmichelleheaton.co.uk 22,470,742 (100 pts)

So, despite us allowing the website of Tony's political party, there are still 7,247,662 websites more popular than his. In case anyone's interested, BrokenTV's Alexa ranking is 2,981,135. We're almost as popular as Ben Adams! With enthralling updates like this, we're sure to be peering over our hit-count shoulder at him within a matter of weeks. Eh? What's that? We've gone down 700,189 places in the last three months? Bah.

So, onto the Google News rankings.

Coolio - 3253 stories
Ulrika Jonsson - 2047 stories
Lucy Pinder - 1922 stories
Michelle Heaton - 1625 stories
Terry Christian - 1389 stories
Verne Troyer - 1363 stories
Tina Malone - 1058 stories
Mutya Buena - 1037 stories
Ben Adams - 999 stories
Tommy Sheridan - 682 stories
La Toya Jackson - 600 stories

Slightly surprisingly, it's La Toya at the bottom of the list, and we've counted both "La Toya" and "LaToya" together here. The Coolio NEW CHANNEL FOUR SCANDAL story sees him hit the top of the pile, Ulrika's general mardiness netting her second spot, and we're guessing the sheer volume of stories in the Daily Star about Lucy have been enough to get her into third.

So, onto our traditional (i.e. we can't think of any new ideas) listing of housemates sorted by Wikipedia wordcount:

Tommy Sheridan- 3223 words
La Toya Jackson - 2301 words
Coolio - 1667 words
Mutya Buena - 1430 words
Terry Christian - 1263 words
Lucy Pinder - 1119 words
Ulrika Jonsson - 965 words
Michelle Heaton - 892 words
Verne Troyer - 657 words
Ben Adams - 397 words
Tina Malone - 293 words

So, Tommy remains top of that particular sorted-in-descending-order list. Meaning, by our admittedly roundabout and utterly non-scientific way of thinking about it, he has still clocked up the highest number of actual achievements in his professional life. None of the profiles have changed much since day one of the current series, to be honest.

So, time to pour all of the statistical ingredients into a mixing bowl (Excel), and turn it into a lovely big number pie (chart).

As for the show itself, we're still catching up. We should probably resort to bullet points.

* Didn't Coolio look annoyed that he wasn't up for eviction? It's as if he was thinking "jeez, just how colossal a cock do I need to act like to get out of here? Tsk. I'd better ramp up my dickishness!"

* Terry Christian is coming over really well, we'd say. Not for the first time, our cursory judgement of a person's entire character was incorrect. Who'd have thunk?

* If Tina doesn't get kicked out soon, we might not bother sticking with this. And not just because she slagged off the internet. Because she's tremendously annoying.

More soon!