Big Brother 2009: A Half-Hearted Round Up

  • 1/26/2009 10:53:00 pm
  • By Mark Gibbings-Jones

It's over, then.

It seemed to be a lot shorter this year, although maybe that's just the lack of an horribly drawn-out festival of bullying from Jade Goody, Jo O'Thingy and racism's Danielle Lloyd (interesting how the person who actually said the most racist thing from that whole horrid event is the one still getting the most work, isn't it?). Well, we've fed the the lengths of each series into Excel, and assuming Wikipedia isn't wrong (ahem), here's a chart proving incontrovertibly that CBB is now receding faster than BrokenTV's hairline. And, as a special treat (and because we've got a Firefox extension enabled that does it automatically), total Wikipedia wordcounts for each year.

So, onto the 2009 edition. Who won our special Fame-O-Tron award this year?

Meh. Our guess is Ben Adams did so well on Google News because other people called Ben Adams have been doing stuff. Either that, or his appearance at the Buckley Tivoli last night attracted HUGE media attention. It wasn't really the best series of CBB, was it? Even the Mail's attempt at pretending to be outraged about it - "Now Channel 4 gets a dwarf drunk on television" - wasn't making a real effort. If it had been a man in a giant foam Channel Four logo outfit (1983 issue) pouring booze down Verne Troyer's neck - maybe that'd be an interesting headline. It wasn't, so instead you're left with a patronising "aawwww.... poor ickle Vernie can't fink for himself" headline about a perfectly intelligent forty year old man.

Anyway, onto something more interesting. As noted by the excellent, Five Live recently broadcast a latter day version of Frost/Nixon. Or, more accurately, a latter day Self/Littlejohn. That's right, it's Byrne/Morgan, with the odious former Mirror editor on the receiving end of a verbal pummelling from the Irish stand-up.

"Ed Byrne and Piers Morgan Cross Swords" (from

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