Wednesday, 5 November 2008

The World Is Now, At Least A Bit, Better

And he's getting a new puppy for his kids! Trendy new-meeja cynicism aside, this is a pretty huge thing right here. Four and a half years ago, we watched the DNC National Convention coverage around the time of John Kerry's presidential nomination speech, and noted commentators stating how Barack Obama wouldn't be a likely prospect for 2008, but one to keep an eye on for the future. It seemed John Edwards would be the more likely candidate at the time. But here we are, in a situation quite probably aided by the shambolic Bush administration, but a hugely exciting situation nonetheless. And not just because it all means we all know it's really annoying Ann Coulter, who seems conspicuous by her absence on the Fox News tonight.

This is probably going to come back and quite roundly bite us in the arse (and thank heavens that this isn't a print medium), but from where we're sitting right now, America is doing a damned good job of redeeming itself right now. Barack Obama has just made reference to the moon landings and the fall of the Berlin Wall. The event happening right now is firmly up there with those two landmarks.

[update 5.23am: CNN and Fox News have both quite commendably broadcast the sound of audience cheering for around fifteen minutes after the end of Barack Obama's victory speech before chipping in with any actual commentary. And Fox News have an alert title of: "Pres-Elect Obama - This Is Your Victory" and are carrying on with coverage while CNN International have cut to adverts. The cynics amonst us might have expected them to go with an editorial line of "TEH SOCIALISMS! YOU WILL DESTROY US ALL!!!1". Now, should we stay in to see if Karl Rove will stay on to offer his personal congratulations, or nip out to buy some newspapers? Even though the newspapers know a lot less than we do right now? Hmm.]

[update 5.30am: Right now on Fox News, Brit Hume is hurriedly pissing the goodwill of seven minutes ago up the wall by trumpeting him aboard as a "new Clinton". Whatever your individual opinion on Bill Clinton is, the tone of his commentary makes quite clear his intent. Can you imagine David Dimbleby announcing the election of David Cameron in 2010 with the words "...and David Cameron is duly elected Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Shit. No, really. In the name of Jesus Cocking Christ! What were you all thinking? You STUPID ARSEHOLES!"

In the world according to Brit Hume, Barack Obama is only President because of the Credit Crunch, and for NO OTHER REASON. Oh, and because Sarah Palin is a "dumb-ass bitch". We'll grant you, that's not a verbatim quote.

A more accurate slogan for Fox News would be "Fox News: It's Like Picking At A Scab".]

[Update 5.50am: Karl Rove is still in the Fox News studio. Ultimately, it was all about funding. While it could be argued that if the Republicans were in the right all along, they wouldn't have been funded so badly by actual fundraisers, you, erm, shouldn't. In the interests of balance, we should probably state that we haven't heard Fox News pin the whole thing on The Liberal Media yet. Come to think of it, where is Bill O'Reilly anyway?]

[Update 6.11am: Bed? Yeah, that's probably a viable proposition right now. Night all. And to think, we didn't even need our 24-juice.]

2 .:

Don't worry, Mark, they're finished; they can't ever hurt you again. Though the bodies were never found. And the story's obviously over at this point but we've carried on into another scene, so a ghost will almost certainly jump out as you throw back the curtains or something said...

Presumably O'Reilly, Coulter et al are hastily drafting their EXCLUSIVE news that the figurehead office of the Vice President has become a shadow cabinet of immense, unaccountable power which is SHOCKING and APPALLING after January 19th. Also that various CRIMINALLY DRAFTED LAWS have ruined the Constitution by affording the President UNLIMITED DISCRETIONARY POWERS which are UNIMAGINABLY PROFLIGATE AND DANGEROUS after etc etc. Then Rove comes in and looks stern about a SECRET EVIL PLAN he found online signed by him. And Jon Culshaw arrives by helicopter to do a voice.

Anonymous said...

Good to see US citizens went out and voted as opposed to staying in and playing ker-plunk and Trivial Pursuit.

I guess the Milton Bradley effect was overestimated.*

*Copyright Newstopia S03E06

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