Campaign Magazine Mess Up

Campaign Magazine have published a list of the ten worst television commercials of 2008. Except, because it's December, they've called the article "Campaign's top 10 turkeys of 2008", the chumps. Most of the choices make sense, some of them don't, and there's one glaring cock-up. Here's the list in full. You'll note that they've missed out the godawful one with CGI germs being voiced by Rik Mayall (doing his 'Young Ones' voice, badly) and Tony Robinson (doing his 'Baldrick' voice, really badly).

1 Gillette



Federer, Woods and Henry chew up the furniture. But then, that's what all sports stars do when asked to do an advert, anyway. More notable would be the choice of bringing in Thierry Henry, being promoted using old footage of him playing for Arsenal at Highbury about four years ago. We suspect it's going to be a similar situation with the FIFA games, and Henry is replaced with Landon Donovan in the US campaign, the Hungarian version stars Balázs Dzsudzsák, and so on.

2 Specsavers

Edith Piaf sings about cheap eyeglasses. This advert reminds us of the sketch in The All-New Alexei Sayle Show, where 'Lex, dressed as Piaf, performs a version of the song about such laments as "I should never have bought that horrible Arsenal away shirt, the one with the yellow splotches all over it", so it's clearly not the second worst one of the year.

3 Renault

Woeful dubbed couple in a showroom. We could go off on one here, about one of our pet theories. Dubbed adverts. You want our money? And yet you can't be bothered spending a couple of grand re-filming three people from the country you're trying to sell to? Ha ha ha ha ha ha.



4 Warburtons

That stock advertising character Foreign Businessman In Britain trotted out for the first time in several years. Not even remotely racist or anything, or notable in any other way. And Warburtons still insist on not putting their bread in plastic bags, meaning it goes stale ten minutes after you get home from the shops. Boo.

5 Country Life

The John Lydon one. Which is meant to be terrible, surely? That's the point. Of course, we'll bet hardly anyone who saw it can remember what the actual brand of butter being promoted.



6 Kellogg

With Dame Kelly Holmes, and which we haven't ever seen. We know we could just click on the YouTube link on the Campaign page, but we've managed to contain our excitement.

7 Orangina

Disturbingly 'erotic' dancing CGI animals. The idea for which the creative director at top agency Burble, Burble and Twatt came up with by visiting furry groups in Second Life when he should have been getting a proper job.

8 Premier Inn

Lenny Henry pisses on the memories of everyone who liked him as Delbert Wilkins. The sad demise of the man who popularised the term "well 'ard" long before the Walford-based alsatian.



9 Samsung

Some Chelsea players doing a really shit advert, but one which crucially can be put out in Dubai without being redubbed, so Sumsung will be happy enough.

10 DFS

The Nickelback one that can give you both ear and eye cancer. This is where Campaign have really messed up. This isn't just the tenth worst advert of 2008. It's the worst thing ever broadcast in the name of marketing in the history of ever. Trying to pretend your sofas are somehow 'cool': a stupid idea. Trying to pretend your sofas are somehow 'cool' by having some gits from a talent agency doing air guitar: a really stupid idea. Trying to pretend your sofas are somehow 'cool' by having some gits from a talent agency doing air guitar to Nickelback's "Rock Star": Well. Take Mike Smith and Dick Rowe passing on signing The Beatles to Decca. Multiply that by ABC turning down The Cosby Show because they thought no-one would want to see the antics of a wealthy black family. Multiply the sum of that by ITV Digital and New Coke combined. You are now one-tenth of the way to the level of sheer and spectacular stupidity shown by the 'creative' who came up with this idea.



Really, it's so bad, we're just not going to make bloody sure we never buy a sofa from DFS, we actually spend every Tuesday afternoon going to our local branch with a tape recorder and performing the most revolting of dirty protests in the shop doorway to make bloody sure no-one else feels like buying one from there either. There's nothing like seeing us writhing around on a pavement in just our pants, rubbing ourselves with our own mess to the tune of "Rock Star" to make you consider that Furniture Village might be a better option.

While it's a long-standing tradition of BrokenTV to avoid naming companies responsible for terrible adverts, in this case we're going to post a load of links to the DFS website, in the hope we show up in the web stats. With an ounce of luck, they'll click on the link to this page and see what we think of them, what their actions have made a once-proud blog resort to, and then do the decent thing and fold the company, just in time to prevent their 2009 campaign, which is exactly the same, only they're using "Rock Star" by fucking Pink.

7 comments:

Mike Landers said...

Delbert Wilkins! Aka the last time Lenny Henry was funny, and we've had nearly a quarter of a century of unbroken shite since.

James said...

And the best bit is, the campaign's a blatant lie. Dawn doesn't trust him to stay away from home, apparently, so he has to make the journey back after each show.

Also, the DFS ads got canned recently, because they used visual trickery to make the sofas look bigger than they were, or something.

Simon said...

Interesting note re Samsung that hardly anybody, Campaign inclusive, noticed - the woman in it may look like a Fisher-Price My First Winslet but is in fact Donna Air, once of lad mag aided ubiquity and now taking non-speaking side roles in adverts.

You have to see that Kelloggs advert if only to marvel at exactly how bad Kelly Holmes is at reading a cue card.

Applemask said...

I've got Abbey Life and the Gateway Rap which says DFS stays off the bottom of the "ever" list.

Mark X said...

There is also the Berocca advert which shamelessly apes That OK Go Video From Off Of YouTube, and tries to get away with it, only to be hamstrung by not being any bloody good. In a way, I wish I hadn't edited the adverts out of everything I've taped this year. It could have led to a wonderful The 100 Worst Adverts Of 2008 listing.

(Of course, you're probably reading the above and trying to remember what sort of product Berocca is, thereby signifying that the creatives have FAILED. Ha.)

opop said...

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,

uhfdf said...

做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇, 爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性,

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真, 免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,