Pre Awards Show Off

  • 12/13/2008 11:48:00 pm
  • By Mark Gibbings-Jones

Both regular readers of this blog may recall that we generally round off each calendar year with several thousand words essentially slagging off those who have disappointed us over the previous fifty-two weeks. A bit like Frank Costanza every Festivus, come to think of it. If there's any room left over, we'll probably mention the things that we liked, too. You know, ground breaking revelations like "Peep Show was good this year", that sort of thing.

Generally, we'll spend about thirty seconds tapping in some spurious headings and then putting them in bold, to try to get away with calling the entire thing a kind of "awards" ceremony. In truth of course, there are likely to be twice as many brickbats as bouquets, and it's all a rather limp excuse for a slightly tired old blog to recapture the form that once saw it get a two word review on the culture section of the BBC website. We might even chuck in a few swears, so we can pretend to ourselves that we're like Charlie Brooker.

This year, things are going to be different. We still expect to be in a White Lightning-fuelled fug for the duration of the festivities, as tradition dictates, and we'll still be putting out a spittle-flecked diatribe about how Balls Of Steel hasn't been cancelled yet, but with one notable difference. In an event we'll probably end up trying to pass off as a tribute to the early Stoneybridge sketches from Absolutely, this year's BrokenTV Awards are venturing into the digital age, and will be presented in video form. Yes, really.

We can legally use clips from the shows we mention, just as long as they're under thirty seconds and/or for review purposes (we think), so it can almost be like a proper Awards gig. Oh, okay, it won't even be near to a proper awards gig, but at least it can't be as bad as the year Jack Docherty hosted the BAFTA film awards. Luckily for Jack, that was when it was on Sky, so no-one watched it. With Lady Fortuity on our side, it'll even be better than this year's British Comedy Awards, but that'll hardly be a stretch. As long as Kevin Bishop doesn't burst into our front room in the middle of it and start acting like a colossal twat, that's pretty much a given.

In any event, we've prepared a trailer for The BrokenTV Awards 2008. As you might expect from the levels of professionalism we've displayed in the past, it hasn't got anything to do with television. To be honest, we were mostly toying with doing stuff in AVS Video Editor 4 for the preview video. Anyway, as it should have finished uploading by now, on with the trailer:

While putting that together, we've come up with a couple of questions that we'd more than welcome answers to. If anyone can help with any of the following, please leave a message in the comment section.

ONE. Blimey, AVS Video Editor 4 is rubbish. We've only got it because it was free for a day on (the occasionally excellent but mainly mediocre) GiveawayOfTheDay website. It never quite does what we want, it crashes infuriatingly often, and doesn't allow us to put a text overlay on top of an image overlay, which is annoying as we wanted to slap witty captions on top of the screens in the above clip. Does anyone know of any other, better yet relatively cheap (or free) video editing progs for Windows? Please bear in mind that we will despatch teams of snipers to the streets of anyone saying "Windows Movie Maker".

TWO. Hmm. Now we've said all this, we'd better come up with something to put in it. Does anyone have any interesting ideas for award categories, either 'best' or 'worst'? Or even some nominations that could go in any of the obvious ones? Don't worry, we've already accounted for The Kevin Bishop Show.

oh, and also:

THREE: How do you add YouTube videos in 'high quality'? I didn't see any option for it when uploading the above vid. Nice to see you can now type in all the details while the video is uploading, though.


We've just realised, we didn't do an update on Friday. So, here it is:

Hey, the new BBC One Christmas idents are quite good (and certainly better than those penguins), though we can't help but feel the idea is a little bit familiar.

There, that'll do.

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