Deah Gamesmar-star

Crikey.

Now, we're an incredible duffers at multiplayer Grand Theft Auto IV - in fact, we've just turned off the BrokenTV 360 in a petulant sulk after getting our collective arse handed to us in Mafiya mode for the umpteenth time. In BrokenTV's entire GTA Race online 'career', we have notched up a pathetic half a dozen kills (although we did win one race. Go us!). With this in mind, can anyone tell us how the ruddy fuck we've found ourselves getting this achievement?

gta4a.jpg

gta4b.jpg

We must be the lamest people to do something UBER7337 in the history of multiplayer gaming.



(Interesting local colour corner for the seven people in the UK not playing GTA4: 'a Rockstar' means one of the development team who actually made Grand Theft Auto IV. GTAIV is a game which sold six million copies in the first week of sale. It could conservatively be estimated that one in six of those people have tried the multiplayer function of the game. From those one million online players, maybe one hundred of them had a notable impact on developing the title. Then factor in the average standard of skill for a highly-paid professional behind one of the greatest games of all time, and the level of cack-handed ineptitude one could reasonably expect from us. That, right there, is some scary maths.)

Right, now where's our trilby? We're off out to slaughter some crack dealers.

4 comments:

Jason said...

Nah. It's viral - that means that you have killed someone who has killed someone who has killed someone who has killed a member of the development team.

*pisses all over bonfire chips*

However, it does mean you can now dress as a zombie.

Mark X said...

Yeah, I have since discovered that. Ah well, it was nice while it lasted.

Of course, seeing as how I'm so rubbish my character gets killed by asthmatics with pea shooters (containing mushy peas), this completely devalues the currency of the achievement. Doubly so when I'm dressed up as a zombie, which is effectively the same as carrying a huge banner which says "hey everyone! Kill me for a free achievement!"

Top tip for below-par GTAIV multiplayers: Bulk up your rank by taking part in Team Mafiya missions. At the end of each set of missions, the game 'goes Dutch' on the cash, so even if you've just been meandering around in a daze, you'll get an equal share of the team spoils, nudging you closer to that elusive Rank Up.

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