Wednesday, 4 June 2008

Things Television Commercials Have Taught Us

Y'know, we used to be your typical feminist, tofu-munching, Mark Thomas, commie-liberal types. Until one particular advert has managed to finally seep through the limestone of our consciousness and change our world-view forever.



We used to think that women, with their cute little foibles and ovaries, were human beings capable of their own individual consciousness, intellect, hopes, dreams and rights.



How silly that all seems now.



Yes, thanks to an advert for unpleasant microwaveable offal-in-a-bap, we have now come around to the way of thinking that if you meet a woman, and she doesn't agree to let you have torrid and joyless sex with her (and subsequently letting you withdraw and collapse into a drunken, selfsatisfied and cuntish stupor the very femtosecond you've spewed your man-mess into her) after two hours of imbibing half-price Stella at your local Wetherspoons, she's a pointless and worthless bitch.



Thanks, Rustlers!


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(Preview of first comment: "Fucking hell, that's unusually nihilistic for a blog usually happy to cheerily bung up a pie chart about Deal Or No Deal's ratings. But, having seen the advert in question, yes, fair dues. I can't believe it's got another outing since the last time. Have they mistaken television in 2008 for Loaded magazine in 1996 or something?")
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Mark X said...

Come to think of it, it's probably about a year since I've used the word 'cunt' on this forum, because I'm not entirely sure if my mum still reads it. Erm, sorry mum.

It is an especially offensive advert, though.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed that update, if that was posted on B3ta, i think it would have made the newsletter.

Anonymous said...

You're right, it's a hateful ad. Worse even than the Lynx "It's not a date rape drug, it just seems like one" efforts.

Oh, and fuck Coke Zero too.

Jamie said...

...this makes me realise why i just download/stream/xbmc all my TV.

Still...its tits tho innit? Eh lads..eh? Tits! BUY! Tits!

Mark X said...

Oh, Coke Zero can especially go fuck itself. Is there some sort of inter-company rivalry between the agencies in charge of the Coke Zero and Pepsi Max campaigns, to see just who can make the most excruciating adverisment?

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