Election Night Drinking Game!

Heeeeeeeeeere’s Fiona!

image But anyway. Thanks to Twitter’s @lonesbones for giving us this idea, it’s probably a good time to get started on The Official BrokenTV Election Night Drinking Game. Dash down the 24-hour supermarket quickly, while nothing much is actually happening, and get ready for the following:

OUTSIDE BROADCAST REPORTER’S MICROPHONE NOT WORKING: Take a drink

LARGE IN-STUDIO DISPLAY BREAKS DOWN: Take two drinks (and squint to make sure it’s not your own TV playing up)

MP FROM LOSING PARTY STILL CLAIMS THE NIGHT ISN’T OVER DESPITE THERE ONLY BEING TWENTY SEATS LEFT TO DECLARE: Finish your drink.

CHIEF RETURNING OFFICER DOESN’T READ OUT THE NAME OF THE PARTY EACH CANDIDATE BELONGS TO, LEAVING YOU WONDERING WHO ON EARTH HAS ACTUALLY WON THE SEAT FOR ABOUT TEN SECONDS: Take a drink.

TRIUMPHANT TORY MP MAKES A REFERENCE TO D:REAM’S “THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER”: Pay your own tribute to 1997 by drinking an alcopop.

STUDIO COMMENTATOR BLAMES IT ALL ON ‘BIGOTGATE’: Take a drink and flick some V’s at the screen.

ANDREW NEIL MAKES A JOKE THAT NOBODY LAUGHS AT: Take a drink to mask your embarrassment.

SOMEONE YOU KNOW FROM WALES, SCOTLAND OR NOTHERN IRELAND TWEETS IN ANGER THAT IT’S 3AM AND THEY’VE ONLY JUST REALISED THAT THE NON-REGIONAL COVERAGE OF THE RESULTS IS GOING OUT ON BBC TWO IN THE NATIONS: Take a drink whilst wondering why the BBC still goes to all that bother.

PIERS MORGAN APPEARS ON THE TELLY AND YOU RESIST THE URGE TO PUT YOUR FOOT THROUGH THE SCREEN: Give yourself a pat on the back.

“A GLANCE AT THE MORNING’S NEWSPAPER FRONT PAGES” TURNS OUT TO SHOW THE NEWSPAPERS HAVE ALL GONE WITH TREMENDOUSLY INCORRECT FRONT PAGE HEADLINES: Grin to yourself, then take two drinks.

NIGEL FARAGE’S NAME GETS A HUGE ROUND OF APPLAUSE WHEN MENTIONED IN THE REUSLTS FOR BUCKINGHAMSHIRE, THEN HE ONLY GETS ABOUT 300 VOTES: Drink some medicinal brandy.

A NORMALLY SERIOUS MP TRIES TO ‘CONNECT’ WITH THE ‘PEOPLE’ BY MENTIONING DOCTOR WHO, OVER THE RAINBOW OR GLEE IN HIS VICTORY SPEECH: Sigh, then finish your drink.

JON CULSHAW APPEARS: Drink an entire bottle of vodka and switch channels.

2 comments:

Chris Brown said...

Any points for Brillo calling Kelly Holmes "Kelly Jones"?

Mark X said...

Ooh dear, I think the rules state everyone now has to listen to a Stereophonics record.