Prelude To Disappointment… It’s Election Night!

Welcome to BrokenTV’s Live Election night blog! Indeed, unlike certain national broadcasters we could name, we haven’t suddenly remembered the rule on political programming while the polls are still open and have subsequently had to swap places with a QI blog, we’re here now, and can say what we like. “Don’t vote Tory! Unless you hate people working in the public sector, the homeless, the impoverished, the unemployed and the disabled, in which case they’re probably the party for you!” See?

First up, as nothing is really happening yet but it’s too early to use our pre-prepared election night update yet, how are other broadcasters around the world covering our election? Let’s take a look!

CNN

For the UK Election, Ted Turner’s rolling news channel doesn’t seem to be employing the hologram technology it famously used for the 2008 US Election. They’re keeping things a bit more, well…

BEER PUMPS!

CARDBOARD CUT-OUTS!

A RACECOURSE BOOKMAKER TOTE BOARD!

Oh, right. They aren’t even going to beam in P Diddy for this one?

FRANCE24international

The globe-spanning French news service is pulling out all the stops to avoid tarring us Rosbifs with a stereotypical brush. Instead, they seem to have been focusing on a couple of aspects they seem to be assuming will be paramount in the minds of British voters.

FOOTBALL and

FOX-HUNTING. Britain in a nutshell, there. Silly The French, eh? Assuming we’d be primarily concerned with actual policies! In actual fact the entire political system of the UK is based wholly around voting for whichever party leader seems the nicest, then letting them do whatever they want for the next five years. Pof!

FOX NEWS

Ooh, Fox News! Which one of the party leaders is about to be outed as a secret Muslim communist born in Kenya? Which one will Bill O’Reilly be most disgusted by? Will Glenn Beck have to get his chalkboard out in order to prove why the Soviet Union has been alive and well in being run from London for the last thirteen years?

No, sadly, it’s all pretty much (gnnngh) fair and balanced. Although the reporter’s end piece to camera just happens to have a “Delice de France” van going past the camera as she speaks, so maybe they’re trying to suggest we’re all just as bad as Fox News likes to pretend the French are? Yeah, we’re clutching at straws here. If anyone does notice anyone on Fox News saying anything demented, please let us know.

 

MORE TO COME